Star Trek - I don't even know.

[seikilos]

Title: Fifty Shades of Grey (Star Trek remix)
Fandoms: Star Trek, Fifty Shades Trilogy
Genre: Parody
Rating: PG-13
Words: 154
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the above media.
Summary: The back cover for the first installment of the latest Alpha Quadrant sensation: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Author's Notes: I'm sure someone must have thought of this before. But when you have Garak, a Cardassian, delivering the following complaint to Dr. Bashir about the Romulans, you can't just leave it alone.

Ah, yes, Romulus. How well I remember it. You'll find the predominant colour to be grey. The buildings, the clothes, the people. Did you know that the Romulan heart itself is grey? It's true. And altogether appropriate for such an unimaginative race.

When Tal Shiar agent Anast'asia Stiral goes to interrogate high-ranking Obsidian Order operative Cristiak Guret, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The worldly, jaded Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and interrogation techniques, Guret admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Guret’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multitudes of terrified subordinates, his vast wealth, his loving family—Guret is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Cristiak Guret’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

Comments

[lostinmyway]

Oh, whoops, I meant "The Faerie Queene." I think even Loki has higher standards than to read Fifty Shades of Grey.

But yeah, I can't say I'm surprised in the slightest.... :|

[hickumu]

I think he'd give it a go in a bid to make Thor lose his faith in humanity, but whoops, my misread! Sorry 'bout that. I don't think even FSoG has language as maddening as Faerie Queens, at least from what I gathered from the Wikipedia page. I'm certainly not going to try to read either.

[vyctori]

Probably, yeah. And if anyone in Luceti really pissed him off--though he'd probably do it when he was sure all the kids were in bed, because erm. Yeah.

I glanced over part of the poem myself a while ago, and I started automatically skimming very, very quickly. Oy.