seikilos

Title: Out of Communications Range
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (language, reference to sexual content)
Words: 615
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: When O'Brien doesn't answer Sisko's hail over his combadge, Sisko and Odo assume the worst. In this case, however, their pessimism may not be called for--and may, in fact, make things a touch awkward.
Author's Notes: Because everyone in Star Trek jumps to conclusions way too often, and it has to have bitten them in the ass at least once or twice over the years.

If you like what you've read, please consider supporting me on Patreon! I'm currently minimally employed, so every little bit helps.

( 'Computer, initiate emergency security override, authorisation Sisko-One-Alpha.' )

Title: Mere Curiosity
Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: G
Words: 100
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age: Inquisition.
Summary: Of course Cassandra isn't planning on writing stories herself. That would be ridiculous.
Author's Notes: Written for hickumu, who single-handedly met my first two fundraising goals on Patreon! As a perk, she got to request a drabble, and so here it is: something with Varric and Cassandra.

For anyone who'd be interested in contributing, the next milestone involving me writing fic nets everyone a 250-word fic of their choice. So, you know.

( 'Varric!' )

Title: Better-Looking Pilots Actually Sing "Love Is an Open Door" From Frozen
Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: G (Casual ableist language)
Words: 1167
Disclaimer: I don't own Cabin Pressure.
Summary: While waiting for a customer to turn up, Arthur shows Herc and Douglas a video on his phone. Herc and Douglas think they can do better.
Author's Notes: Basically, when I learned this existed, I knew what I had to do.

( ''Good-Looking Pilots Sing 'Love Is an Open Door' From Frozen'?' )

Title: Getting Comfortable
Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Romance/Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG
Beta: marsdaydream
Words: 1068
Disclaimer: I don't own Cabin Pressure.
Summary: Herc's relationship with Carolyn is like no other he's had in his life. But the unexpected is what makes it fun--for the most part.
Author's Notes: I'm a huge sucker for non-nuclear families, so when Herc found his way into Carolyn and Arthur's lives, well, that was it for me. I knew exactly where my ficcing drive was taking me with this fandom.

I have another one written with this pair and a couple more ideas on top of that. None of them are particularly long, but you never know: that might change.

Thank you very much to Mars for her lovely, fast beta! ♥ Please drop by her page here and give her fics a look if you need a great way to spend an afternoon.

( 'If you'd like, you could go home. Or . . . you could stay here.' )

Title: Battle Hymns of the Federation
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: G
Words: 688
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: O'Brien wonders why only the Klingons get to sing while going forth into battle. Sisko offers a suggestion as to what Federation members could sing themselves.
Author's Notes: In general, Klingons and I don't mix too well. However, one thing I do adore is the importance of song in Klingon life. (This has nothing whatsoever to do with me being a music teacher.)

This also came from the never-not-hilarious tendency for history to change the context of media--and I'm not saying anything else, because it'll give the joke away.

( 'Would you prefer we skip the safety checks and start straight in on the opera?' )

Title: By the Book
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space 9
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (sexual references--many, many sexual references)
Words: 4712
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space 9.
Summary: All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorisation from their C.O. as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species. - VOY 5x17 "The Disease." Enforcing this particular Starfleet regulation is all well and good on a starship, but on an active space station maintained by two separate governments, matters are a little more...challenging.
Author's Notes: The moment I learned of this particular regulation, I knew I had to write a DS9 fic about it. While on one hand it does make sense that people would want to know whether there would be any unpleasant side effects to getting it on with a member of another species, on the other, when it comes to a place like DS9, the regulation strikes me as horrendously impractical. Thus: this fic. I took a few liberties with the relationships in this, for purposes of fun and shipping bias, but the majority of pairings in this are canon compliant.

On a side note, I came this close to titling the fic "Alien Banging Regulations," and it's all Ereka's fault.

( There was, in fact, only one new task he did not relish: giving the Starfleet personnel on his station permission to initiate intimate interspecies relationships. )

Title: Working Out The Kinks
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Fluff/Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (extremely light references to sex)
Words: This part 1905, ?? overall
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: When it comes to dealing with muscle pain, Julian and Garak find that there's really nothing like physical touch. Featuring a trope played straight, subverted, and then resolved in three acts. This chapter: Turnabout is fair play.
Author's Notes: This is the chapter where I took a close look at what I'd written, as well as some common fandom tropes, and decided to turn everything on its head. I also took my experience as the daughter of a medical professional and put it to good use. I was very fortunate to be taught a large number of scientific names for the various parts of my body at a young age, although this probably weirded out some of the people around me. I am pretty sure I was the only kid in my Grade 1 class who would complain about being itchy by her scapula (shoulder blade), for example.

Just as a heads-up, but after this I'll be taking a bit of a posting hiatus to get caught up on all my proofreading. I'm getting seriously bogged down, so this is the last thing you'll see from me for a little while. I may get something posted next week, but if I do, it won't be for this fandom. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this and I'll be back with something else in a couple of weeks. <3

( 'Garak? Are you all right?' )

Title: Working Out The Kinks
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Fluff/Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (innuendo)
Words: This part 2137, ?? overall
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: When it comes to dealing with muscle pain, Julian and Garak find that there's really nothing like physical touch. Featuring a trope played straight, subverted, and then resolved in three acts.
Author's Notes: Long story short, this is me subverting my own fanfic. This was originally another one of my early attempts to pin down the characters of Garak and Bashir. I considered reworking it after reading some discussion online about problematic DS9 tropes and doing some thinking of my own, but then I decided to pull it apart instead.

This chapter features the fic as-is, trope implications and all; the next two will involve me playing around with things. That's not to say, of course, that I didn't have a lot of wicked fun with writing this, so I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as much as I did. :Db

( He had been expecting Garak's answer to be something flippant, as usual. He was surprised, then, when it was a sharp, 'Doctor, what are you doing?' )

Title: Tall and Daring
Fandom: Tales of Graces f
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (for innuendo and references to Hubert's eternal sexism)
Words: 678
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Graces.
Summary: Sequel to Short and Sweet: Extended Edition, which should be read first. Some Lineage & Legacies spoilers. Hubert's fashion-related criticism finds a new target.
Author's Notes: Somehow, I had actually forgotten I wrote this. Don't ask me how, because I remember really enjoying writing it at the time.

Will I ever get tired of making fun of Hubert? Signs point to no.

( 'Whatever you have to say, Hubert, you can say it in front of everyone else.' )

Title: A Masterpiece of Western Epic Opera
Fandoms: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: AU/humour
Rating & Warnings: PG (language, comedic treatment of stalker behaviour [aka Dukat])
Words: 1517
Disclaimer: I don't own the above media.
Summary: When Dukat comes looking for Kira, he doesn't expect to have to deal with Worf and his opera.
Author's Notes: Written very quickly to be a part of the DS9 pizza shop AU, Deep Dish Nine. Finally, I get to put my year of opera study to good use!

Not even remotely meant to be taken seriously.

( 'You may see her once the opera has finished.' )