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seikilosTitle: Letters From a Goddess
Fandoms:![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
luceti, Tales of Legendia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, original works, Tales of Phantasia, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Black Butler, Sherlock
Genre: Angst/Gen/Romance (depends on the letter)
Rating: PG
Words: 5322
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the above fandoms.
Summary: The letters Grune wrote to her dearest friends before her memories faded.
Author's Notes: I am so, so sorry this took so long--but that wordcount should hopefully speak for itself. Even with Yosie typing a good chunk of these for me, it was a long, slow process.
I wound up deciding to post them all in a batch here, since Sora expressed interest in seeing them all, and it seemed fairer that way. Footnotes on certain letters are included at the bottom.
I didn't get to triple-proofread these as I usually do--I just went over them about once--so I really hope there aren't any errors. Let me know if there are, please!
Dear Ginia,
I am entrusting my notes on Luceti to you for the reason that I believe they will be both safest and put to the best use in your hands. I have organized them by subject matter and have indicated the sources of my information. I have also written up a section of theories, both of my own and of others.
The file is yours to keep until I am in a position to make use of it again. When that day comes, if it does, I hope we can once more be partners in learning all that we can about this world.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Ginia,
I hope by now you are aware of how dear you are to me. Though many things are difficult for me when my memories are sealed, one matter that is simpler, is expressing my love for my friends. However, there are some sentiments that cannot be expressed simply, and so it is for this reason I write you now, while I am still capable of complexity.
It is almost inconceivable that there was a time during my life in Luceti that you were not there, but objectively I know it to be so. Very rapidly, you became someone many could rely upon, myself included. I have yet to encounter anyone who spoke of you with anything less than admiration.
I write this because I have learned you judge yourself by harsh standards. You are generous with your time and your strength, but not so with self-forgiveness.
I have already urged you to learn to love yourself, but I repeat it here: you who are beloved by many. It is vital that you love not only who you might become, but the one you are in this moment. Only then will you be able to achieve lasting happiness.
My life prior to Luceti has been such that it has been difficult for me to form enduring friendships. However, I can say with the truest certainty that no matter where you and I may go, I will always love you. You are like family to me, and you will always remain so, for as long as I live.
You are an extraordinary woman, Ginia: strong and intelligent, with a loving heart even despite all you have suffered. I am proud to consider you my friend, and that you consider me a friend in turn.
Thank you, always.
Love,
Grune
Dear Alice,
Recently, I regained by memories for a time, thanks to the interference of the Malnosso. Regrettably, I was unable to see you at that time, and so I have only this letter to convey my thoughts to you.
There are limits to my understanding when I am without my memories, as you are no doubt aware. While I can and do love you and value your friendship highly in that state, there will always remain some distance, however infinitesimal, between us, because I cannot truly understand who you are.
I do not claim to have perfect knowledge of you now, but I believe it has increased to a degree. I am now able to remember that through the course of my lifetime I have met others like you, born of traumatic events, as I assume you must have been.
You and others like you are among the most courageous people I have met, for you are the ones who shoulder the burdens most would be unable to bear. For that alone, I would admire you, Alice, but it is not the sole reason.
Having known so much pain in your life, it would be understandable were you to withdraw from life—but instead, I see you living it. You have friends of your own, and you are learning how to show kindness, how to care—even how to build a snow sculpture or plant a flower. You are growing as do all living beings.
You question whether you are real. I cannot tell you what to believe, but I will say this: a person is the sum of their memories and experiences. You have both, precious to you and independent of Ginia. You are the only one who can determine their meaning.
Whatever you decide, however, know this: I am proud of you, Alice. And I will always love you, no matter who we both become.
Continue to grow and to learn. I will always watch you with joy.
Love,
Grune
Dear Dhaos,
In regaining my memory, I have become aware of a number of dangerous individuals. I cannot specify an exact number, due to their typically anonymous nature. As you are one of the strongest individuals in Luceti that I am aware of, I feel safe in sharing what I know of their identity with you. However, I ask, knowing the impulsive nature of many in Luceti, that you be judicious about who else learns of these individuals; not everyone is as strong as you. That said, I hope you will share this information with those you trust and will act in the best interests of the village.
You and I are both well aware of Mithos’ unstable nature and so I need to say no more on this matter.
Recently, there has been a series of deaths of the animals in the forest surrounding Luceti. They have been killed for sport, not food, and their remains have been abandoned. It has been suggested that a new, potentially dangerous predator has recently come to Luceti. I would ask that you insist that I be accompanied by someone if I express an interest in venturing into forest alone until this situation is resolved. Suggesting a picnic would be an effective means of securing my agreement.
In the last few hours, an individual has made an anonymous post to the network claiming “boredom” and declaring in a highly disjointed manner their intention to teach the supposedly complacent residents of Luceti how to fight. While many of those who responded to this post were dismissive, I am less inclined to feel the same way. At the very least, this is an unbalanced individual with violent tendencies. At worst, they may be related to the “predator” previously mentioned. I would advise monitoring the journals for hints to this person’s identity. If I regain my memories again, I will do the same.
I have somewhat more information on the final individual, but in this case, I would personally advise extreme caution.
Grell Sutcliffe is a death god who I have seen demonstrate sadistic tendencies. During the August experiment, Giles and I became trapped in a location from his world and required assistance in escaping. Grell came to our aid for what I now believe was the reason of intimidating Giles. Although Giles did not say anything to me as a means of protecting what he believed to be my innocence, I suspect there mayhave been a history between them.
While we were in the process of departing, we encountered a vampire—a demonic creature from Giles' world that feeds off humans and is only able to be killed in highly specific ways. When it attacked, Grell stabbed it through with her chainsaw and engaged the weapon, seeming to take great pleasure in its pain. Only after that did she allow it to die. While she did not harm us, I believe she could be a threat if the opportunity arose. She is a death god who seemingly lacks compassion, which is abhorrent and a danger to all.
On a personal note, though I witnessed the hidden side of Grell’s nature while I was without my memories, I decided at that time she needed only appropriate demonstrations of friendship to see the error of her ways. Consequently, I have been attempting to befriend her. While I do not believe myself to be in immediate danger—threatening me would be foolish for a number of reasons—if you could subtly discourage me from spending time in her company, I would appreciate it. Once again, distraction is likely to be the most effective tactic.
I realize that it is unfair to provide you with these tasks without being able to aid you, and for that, I apologise. I would monitor these individuals myself were I capable, but that is unfortunately not possible. You are the only person I both trust not to be endangered by this knowledge and to make good use of it.
I hope the information I have provided, as sparse as it is, will allow you to protect the other residents of Luceti from harm.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Dhaos,
There are many things I find easier when my memories are not sealed. What I attempt to do now is harder, and that is expressing the way I feel freely and honestly. Forgive me if this letter falls short of its stated goal; here, I do what no longer comes naturally.
I must first begin with an apology and an expression of gratitude. There have been many occasions when I asked you to do something with me and believed you were enjoying yourself but were "shy" about expressing it. At those times, I truly thought I was helping you. I know now you were attending these events or accompanying me on my picnics out of kindness and a reluctance to disappoint me. And so, thank you for all the trouble you have gone to on my behalf. Few would be so indulgent, and yet you have been, nearly since the moment we met. I apologize that it was necessary.
It may come as a surprise to you, but with or without my memories, I consider you one of my most valued of friends. Though I have many friends, it is with you I feel most able to lay down my burdens and be comforted. You may find it strange for me to speak of being burdened even in my unawakened state, but I am still able to feel the pain of loneliness when a dear friend departs. Spending time in your company always lessens that pain; after, my smiles are stronger and more true.
I regret that my time is so short. There is much I wish to say while I am capable of this higher level of understanding. But, all the same, allow me to end with words that remain true and unchanging, whether my memories are sealed or free:
Thank you for being my friend.
Love,
Grune
Dear Fenimore,
I am certain you are reading this letter with mixed feelings. Though I did not understand at the time, I know now that I can be intimidating to those accustomed to my manner of expression only before I have awakened. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for any pain I may have caused.
But that is not my sole purpose in writing you this letter, or even the most important reason. Rather, my purpose is to express those sentiments I have always felt but have been unable to set properly to words, and to make use of the knowledge I have temporarily regained.
I have always been grateful to you, Fenimore, for all you have done for me, but it is only now I am aware of the magnitude of your sacrifices for myself, for Sophie, and for this household. I do not like to think of what might have befallen us had you not stepped into Stella's place last fall.
But even before her departure, you took care of me and ensured both my safety and my happiness. I am certain there have been many times you would have preferred not to help me with my baking or make certain I was dressed for the weather or spent time determining whether my friends were safe, or any of the hundreds of other ways you have cared for me, but every time, you did. Though you are young and should be concerned with determining the shape of your life alone, you have instead taken on the duty of setting aside yourself for the sake of others.
I worry sometimes, however, that you do not have enough time to live your own life. Please do not forget to ask someone to watch over Sophie so that you might have time to simply be who you are. Do it often. You deserve to make yourself happy, Fenimore.
One way in which you can find happiness is to set your past at rest. I strongly urge you to speak with someone at the clinic regarding the meaning behind your scars. It will be extremely painful, but pain is often necessary for healing. One can run from the past, but legs tire. The past does not. One day, it will find you, whether you flee or turned to face it on your own terms.
You are stronger than you realize, and I am proud to call you one of my dearest friends. Thank you for your friendship and for everything you have done for me. I will always love you.
Love,
Grune
Dear Norma,
I would like to begin by setting your mind at rest: I do not blame you for your reaction to my change. Though I was not aware at the time, I understand now that I can be perceived as being great. That one of my friends feared I was possessed was a clear indication to me of how significantly different I must have appeared to you. You should not fault yourself for your reaction in such a case.
When I am in possession of my memories, I find it far easier to see matters clearly, both positive and negative. While I have always believed you to be highly intelligent, it is only now that I understand the significance of your research. I have never before heard of an Orerines capable of understanding Relares; I cannot begin to guess the amount of effort you must have put into learning the language. You truly are an extraordinary person, Norma.
But it is precisely your ceaseless effort that concerns me. You push yourself unforgivingly hard and rarely allow others to see when you were weary—particularly when that weariness is of your heart. You are not alone here, my dearest friend; you do not have to take on every burden alone. There are many here who would ease your pain, beyond myself. Please do not feel you must conceal it. True friendship encompasses pain as well as joy.
Finally, though it is easier for me to express such matters when I am without my memories, I still wish to try:
Thank you for your friendship, Norma. For the happiness and the laughter, for the shared sadness and uncertainty for the future, thank you. I cannot remember a time when I was ever happier than those days I have spent with you. I want to remain together with you as long as I possibly can. I love you, Norma, and I always will. No matter where we may find ourselves, that will never change.
Once more, thank you, for everything.
Love,
Grune
Dear Sophie,
What had happened to me recently must have been very confusing. I am sorry if I upset you. When I was on Melfes, I needed to change myself and turn into someone else for a while, as a way of protecting everyone I love. But then I forgot I had changed at all, and so I could not tell anyone what I had done.
Though I may seem very different to you, I want to be sure you know that not everything about me has changed. I still love you and all my friends very, very much. I simply have different ways of showing it now, the same way Norma and Fenimore and Walter all show they love you in different ways. They all love you, but as you know, every person is different.
I want you to know that I am so proud of you, Sophie. You are a very brave girl. Very few your age could live and be happy the way you do. Waking up every morning and seeing you is one of the things in life that makes me happiest of all.
No matter how I may act, Sophie, I will always love you. I hope you will never forget this, because no matter what, I never will.
Love,
Grune
Dear Sophie,
In March of Luceti Cycle Year 5, I wrote this letter and gave it to Fenimore for safekeeping. If you are reading this, she or someone else has judged that you are now old enough to understand its contents.
It is difficult for me to say what the past years have been like. I do not know if I have regained my memory again once, many times, not at all, or permanently. Perhaps I left long ago or recently; I may have returned once or often, or I may have remained here constantly. The future is always difficult to predict, but in Luceti, as you must be aware now, it is particularly so.
But there are still certainties, and one of them is this: watching you grow up this past year and a half has been one of the greatest joys I have ever known. And here is another: I love you. No matter where either of us may be now, no matter what has happened since you were the bright three-year-old girl I knew, that has not changed.
As you may know by now, I am a traveller. I rarely stay in one place for more than a year. I have no children and no birth family. Living in House 34 with you, then, and watching you grow a little more every day has brought me such happiness that I doubt I will ever be able to express it. I hope you will not mind me saying that I love you as a daughter, and each day that I spend in your company only deepens my happiness.
I hope I will be granted the opportunity to watch you grow. I wish with all my strength to be able to send you to school, to help you with your eres, to watch you make friends and fall in love. I want to laugh with you and cry with you and be with you, supporting you, all your life long. If, by the time you are reading this letter, you are able to say that we have done all these things, then know that I am the happiest woman in all the worlds.
I hope life has been not only kind to you, but full of every blessing imaginable. And if I am still present with you now, I hope you will come see me upon finishing reading this letter. Allow me to give you the embrace I am incapable of through pen and paper alone.
No matter what has happened in the years since I wrote this letter, I will love you beyond the end of time. I pray you have known and will always know the greatest of happiness.
Love,
Grune
Dear Jay,
I must both thank you and apologize. If you have seen me defeat Schwartz, you have known my fate on Melfes for the entirety of our captivity in Luceti, and yet to my knowledge, you have revealed it to no one. While I understand you are well practised in discretion due to your occupation on the Legacy, when it comes to personal matters, it is not always so easy to keep silent. Thank you.
I am sorry that this is necessary; it places you in a difficult situation. You can see, however, what the knowledge of my change in demeanour alone has done to my friends. To learn the entire truth before it is time would only cause unnecessary suffering. And so, I must ask you to continue to guard this secret for me, until the time comes when the truth can no longer be avoided.
If you need a trusted confident, though, you have my permission—and my encouragement—to share what you know. Burdens are not meant to be carried alone.
I wonder sometimes if you forget this, Jay. Though I must look through the perspective of my unawakened self, I fear you are too alone and isolated. I hope my concerns are without foundation, but it troubles me that I do not even know where you live.
You do not need to be alone. Though our situation is difficult, there are still those in Luceti who love and support you—such as myself. No matter where I might travel, that will never change.
I wish you the greatest of happiness, for you deserve to know it to the depths of your soul. May you find it and keep it always, and though I may not always be able to be with you, know that I am making this wish for you without ceasing.
Love,
Grune
Dear Link,
I hope you can forgive me for beginning with an apology. I am truly sorry for upsetting you upon my return from the Malnosso facilities. It was not at all my wish; I would have done everything in my power to prevent it, were I capable. I had not understood at the time how different I must have seemed to you, though as I look back, it is now obvious to me I must have appeared a stranger to you. Again, I offer my sincerest apologies.
I can assure you, however, that what I said at the time remains the truth. My memories of the time we have spent together and the way I feel about you have not changed. Should you wish it, I would be honoured to remain your older sister, even when I am in full possession of my memories. I have no birth family of my own, and so I treasure such connections deeply.
Looking back on our friendship, I realize I know little about your life prior to being taken to Luceti. I have only a few hints, enough to know that my unawakened self's assumption that you are an ordinary young man is incorrect. It seems as if, though you are young, you have already carried a great burden. If that is the case, despite our imprisonment in this place, I can only be glad you were taken here so that you might have the opportunity for a simpler life.
Though I do not know what your situation will be when the time comes for you to return to your original world, I can only pray that it brings you the same sense of happiness and peace that life in Luceti so clearly has.
May your days be filled with joy and love, no matter where you might find yourself, and always remember that my love and friendship will forever be a part of that wish.
Love,
Grune
Dear Cecil,
Thank you for all the assistance you provided me with during my time with my memories. Your support in numerous ways was a greater help than you might expect.
I apologize for frightening you so badly upon my return. It had not occurred to me that the changes to my demeanour might be attributed to possession and I regret that I brought such painful memories to mind. I can only hope the one responsible for causing such suffering has been brought to justice.
While your magical support was of course invaluable, particularly your ability to teleport me directly to and from the barrier, I hope you are aware that your companionship was also a blessing. It was a relief to have someone I could simply talk to and unburden myself with. In all honesty, neither come easily, and so your listening and understanding were all the more precious to me.
Thank you as well for trusting me and speaking of your life with me. I can only hope I was as much of a comfort to you as you were to me.
Lastly, thank you for trapping yourself in that tree. Though it was a physically uncomfortable affair for the both of us, it gave me the best laugh I have had in a very long time, and I can only hope you did not find yourself in too great of pain the following morning.
I hope someday that I will be permitted to regain my memories once again. If so, I look forward to resuming this part of our friendship. You are a man with a kind heart, Cecil, and I hope you never forget it.
Take care, and for both our sakes, please remember not to teleport after you have been drinking; I am much less skilled at climbing trees without my memories.
Love,
Grune
Dear Walter,
I fear we have fallen short in our attempts to understand one another. My mind cannot rest easily until I have made this last attempt. I hope that, despite our unfortunate parting, you will be able to read this letter with patience and an open heart.
I will confess I began our meeting with certain expectations. When I left Melfes, it was the night before I and my friends were to make one final attempt to prevent the Cataclysm. While I do not know the course events took, I can make certain guesses, including those concerning your role in this matter. This hypothesis, coupled with your behaviour before me and Norma, led me to assume that you still greatly resent the Orerines of Melfes, and I reacted accordingly.
I cannot offer an apology for my role in your death; words on paper cannot undo the fact that I was one of those to take your life. I regret that matters had come to such a point and that it appears there was no other course for us to take. But as we are both aware, apologies are meaningless.
I appreciate that you are making an effort to maintain peace in House 34. I also appreciate that I can be a frustrating individual to live with while my memories are sealed. However, I request that you make a stronger effort to treat me and the others in the house with courtesy. I do not ask for your friendship, though I might wish it in my unawakened state, but only somewhat more politeness and civility. Again, I emphasize that I am aware that the fault lies on all sides. However, speaking solely for myself, you have occasionally caused great pain in your words to me when I had intended to offer only kindness.
Thank you for having read my concerns. I hope that we will be able to act with greater understanding towards one another, and that one day, though you believe it impossible, you will be able to find happiness.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Giles,
I write this letter in the hope that someday you will return to Luceti in a position to read it. While I know many come to this place once more with no memory of having ever been, I can only pray you will not be among the number.
By now, you are no doubt wondering at the change in my manner of expression. In March of Cycle Year 5, the Malnosso kidnapped me in order to remove the seal on my memories. I had not intended to conceal this state of affairs from you. I had been unable to express to anyone that the seal had been in place because it had been so powerful, I had forgotten it was there at all.
Its reason for being was simple enough: the world of Melfes is an immature one, able to support only one person of great strength at a time. When a woman named Schwartz descended to it, it would have hastened its destruction had I not suppressed most of my powers and memories. But it is not a permanent seal; when the time is right, the seal will be undone and I shall attempt to drive Schwartz from the world.
And drive her away I must: Though she seeks to end the suffering of all of Melfes' people, she believes to live is to experience pain, and so she seeks to prevent the world from having ever existed. Though her motives are true, I cannot allow her to remove the world I love so from all of time.
I must assure you that though I may seem superficially different, I remain fundamentally the same. I still value your friendship dearly, particularly now that I am capable of far greater understanding. I understand now the limitless, gentle patience you have shown in the face of my simplicity and forgetfulness. I can appreciate your attempts to shelter me from the cruelties of your world and what it has done to you (though you may be surprised by what I can bear even in that state). And though I have always been warmed by your kindness in going on picnics or walks or flying kites together with me, only now can I see what a great gift of time you have given me.
I regret that I did not have the opportunity to speak with you when I was capable of more sophisticated thought. Even if I have always believed you to be an intelligent man, it is only now that I have been able to see the degree to which this is so. I believe we could have made much progress researching the nature of Luceti together, and I believe I would have been a somewhat more enjoyable conversationalist. While you have never given me any cause to believe you find the limitations of my unawakened state to be frustrating, I know myself well. There are days when I fall short of being able to communicate even with Sophie; I do not need to spend time underscoring the difference between you and her.
I know by now that you must be finding some way to diminish my praise of you. You have always been uncomfortable when I or any of your other friends have expressed appreciation for you. You are one who finds it far easier to accept condemnation than praise. Therefore, I offer you the challenge of believing what I write. I am no more likely to lie now than before I regained my memories, and certainly not to one I love. Do not think me a liar and dismiss my words, Giles, for that will cause me disappointment no matter my state.
I hope Luceti is treating you well. I hope you are being kind yourself. I hope I am a part of your life. Selfishly, I hope I am a large part of it. And if I am no longer in Luceti, then I hope you will remember that I will always love you, forever, past the end of life and into that place where death has no meaning. There exists nothing in this universe or any other that can bring an end to my love.
Thank you for being my friend.
Love,
Grune
Dhaos (business): Thank you to Kaze for helping me rework the section on Grell. ♥
Dhaos (personal): Between paragraphs 3 and 4, had their relationship taken a turn for the romantic, Grune would have inserted the following text:
Fenimore: The letter references an incident Yosie and I have yet to play out--where Grune innocently walks in on Fenimore and sees her scars. This will eventually happen in an appointments post, so stay tuned?
Giles: I wrote Dhaos' personal letter and Giles' letter the better part of a month apart, and so I didn't realise until today I had ended them in the same way. I decided to keep the lines, though, because the words are strongly significant for both of them. Grune would have noted the irony and thought a great deal about it, but would in the end have allowed things to stand.
Fandoms:
luceti, Tales of Legendia, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, original works, Tales of Phantasia, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Black Butler, SherlockGenre: Angst/Gen/Romance (depends on the letter)
Rating: PG
Words: 5322
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the above fandoms.
Summary: The letters Grune wrote to her dearest friends before her memories faded.
Author's Notes: I am so, so sorry this took so long--but that wordcount should hopefully speak for itself. Even with Yosie typing a good chunk of these for me, it was a long, slow process.
I wound up deciding to post them all in a batch here, since Sora expressed interest in seeing them all, and it seemed fairer that way. Footnotes on certain letters are included at the bottom.
I didn't get to triple-proofread these as I usually do--I just went over them about once--so I really hope there aren't any errors. Let me know if there are, please!
Dear Ginia,
I am entrusting my notes on Luceti to you for the reason that I believe they will be both safest and put to the best use in your hands. I have organized them by subject matter and have indicated the sources of my information. I have also written up a section of theories, both of my own and of others.
The file is yours to keep until I am in a position to make use of it again. When that day comes, if it does, I hope we can once more be partners in learning all that we can about this world.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Ginia,
I hope by now you are aware of how dear you are to me. Though many things are difficult for me when my memories are sealed, one matter that is simpler, is expressing my love for my friends. However, there are some sentiments that cannot be expressed simply, and so it is for this reason I write you now, while I am still capable of complexity.
It is almost inconceivable that there was a time during my life in Luceti that you were not there, but objectively I know it to be so. Very rapidly, you became someone many could rely upon, myself included. I have yet to encounter anyone who spoke of you with anything less than admiration.
I write this because I have learned you judge yourself by harsh standards. You are generous with your time and your strength, but not so with self-forgiveness.
I have already urged you to learn to love yourself, but I repeat it here: you who are beloved by many. It is vital that you love not only who you might become, but the one you are in this moment. Only then will you be able to achieve lasting happiness.
My life prior to Luceti has been such that it has been difficult for me to form enduring friendships. However, I can say with the truest certainty that no matter where you and I may go, I will always love you. You are like family to me, and you will always remain so, for as long as I live.
You are an extraordinary woman, Ginia: strong and intelligent, with a loving heart even despite all you have suffered. I am proud to consider you my friend, and that you consider me a friend in turn.
Thank you, always.
Love,
Grune
Dear Alice,
Recently, I regained by memories for a time, thanks to the interference of the Malnosso. Regrettably, I was unable to see you at that time, and so I have only this letter to convey my thoughts to you.
There are limits to my understanding when I am without my memories, as you are no doubt aware. While I can and do love you and value your friendship highly in that state, there will always remain some distance, however infinitesimal, between us, because I cannot truly understand who you are.
I do not claim to have perfect knowledge of you now, but I believe it has increased to a degree. I am now able to remember that through the course of my lifetime I have met others like you, born of traumatic events, as I assume you must have been.
You and others like you are among the most courageous people I have met, for you are the ones who shoulder the burdens most would be unable to bear. For that alone, I would admire you, Alice, but it is not the sole reason.
Having known so much pain in your life, it would be understandable were you to withdraw from life—but instead, I see you living it. You have friends of your own, and you are learning how to show kindness, how to care—even how to build a snow sculpture or plant a flower. You are growing as do all living beings.
You question whether you are real. I cannot tell you what to believe, but I will say this: a person is the sum of their memories and experiences. You have both, precious to you and independent of Ginia. You are the only one who can determine their meaning.
Whatever you decide, however, know this: I am proud of you, Alice. And I will always love you, no matter who we both become.
Continue to grow and to learn. I will always watch you with joy.
Love,
Grune
Dear Dhaos,
In regaining my memory, I have become aware of a number of dangerous individuals. I cannot specify an exact number, due to their typically anonymous nature. As you are one of the strongest individuals in Luceti that I am aware of, I feel safe in sharing what I know of their identity with you. However, I ask, knowing the impulsive nature of many in Luceti, that you be judicious about who else learns of these individuals; not everyone is as strong as you. That said, I hope you will share this information with those you trust and will act in the best interests of the village.
You and I are both well aware of Mithos’ unstable nature and so I need to say no more on this matter.
Recently, there has been a series of deaths of the animals in the forest surrounding Luceti. They have been killed for sport, not food, and their remains have been abandoned. It has been suggested that a new, potentially dangerous predator has recently come to Luceti. I would ask that you insist that I be accompanied by someone if I express an interest in venturing into forest alone until this situation is resolved. Suggesting a picnic would be an effective means of securing my agreement.
In the last few hours, an individual has made an anonymous post to the network claiming “boredom” and declaring in a highly disjointed manner their intention to teach the supposedly complacent residents of Luceti how to fight. While many of those who responded to this post were dismissive, I am less inclined to feel the same way. At the very least, this is an unbalanced individual with violent tendencies. At worst, they may be related to the “predator” previously mentioned. I would advise monitoring the journals for hints to this person’s identity. If I regain my memories again, I will do the same.
I have somewhat more information on the final individual, but in this case, I would personally advise extreme caution.
Grell Sutcliffe is a death god who I have seen demonstrate sadistic tendencies. During the August experiment, Giles and I became trapped in a location from his world and required assistance in escaping. Grell came to our aid for what I now believe was the reason of intimidating Giles. Although Giles did not say anything to me as a means of protecting what he believed to be my innocence, I suspect there mayhave been a history between them.
While we were in the process of departing, we encountered a vampire—a demonic creature from Giles' world that feeds off humans and is only able to be killed in highly specific ways. When it attacked, Grell stabbed it through with her chainsaw and engaged the weapon, seeming to take great pleasure in its pain. Only after that did she allow it to die. While she did not harm us, I believe she could be a threat if the opportunity arose. She is a death god who seemingly lacks compassion, which is abhorrent and a danger to all.
On a personal note, though I witnessed the hidden side of Grell’s nature while I was without my memories, I decided at that time she needed only appropriate demonstrations of friendship to see the error of her ways. Consequently, I have been attempting to befriend her. While I do not believe myself to be in immediate danger—threatening me would be foolish for a number of reasons—if you could subtly discourage me from spending time in her company, I would appreciate it. Once again, distraction is likely to be the most effective tactic.
I realize that it is unfair to provide you with these tasks without being able to aid you, and for that, I apologise. I would monitor these individuals myself were I capable, but that is unfortunately not possible. You are the only person I both trust not to be endangered by this knowledge and to make good use of it.
I hope the information I have provided, as sparse as it is, will allow you to protect the other residents of Luceti from harm.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Dhaos,
There are many things I find easier when my memories are not sealed. What I attempt to do now is harder, and that is expressing the way I feel freely and honestly. Forgive me if this letter falls short of its stated goal; here, I do what no longer comes naturally.
I must first begin with an apology and an expression of gratitude. There have been many occasions when I asked you to do something with me and believed you were enjoying yourself but were "shy" about expressing it. At those times, I truly thought I was helping you. I know now you were attending these events or accompanying me on my picnics out of kindness and a reluctance to disappoint me. And so, thank you for all the trouble you have gone to on my behalf. Few would be so indulgent, and yet you have been, nearly since the moment we met. I apologize that it was necessary.
It may come as a surprise to you, but with or without my memories, I consider you one of my most valued of friends. Though I have many friends, it is with you I feel most able to lay down my burdens and be comforted. You may find it strange for me to speak of being burdened even in my unawakened state, but I am still able to feel the pain of loneliness when a dear friend departs. Spending time in your company always lessens that pain; after, my smiles are stronger and more true.
I regret that my time is so short. There is much I wish to say while I am capable of this higher level of understanding. But, all the same, allow me to end with words that remain true and unchanging, whether my memories are sealed or free:
Thank you for being my friend.
Love,
Grune
Dear Fenimore,
I am certain you are reading this letter with mixed feelings. Though I did not understand at the time, I know now that I can be intimidating to those accustomed to my manner of expression only before I have awakened. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for any pain I may have caused.
But that is not my sole purpose in writing you this letter, or even the most important reason. Rather, my purpose is to express those sentiments I have always felt but have been unable to set properly to words, and to make use of the knowledge I have temporarily regained.
I have always been grateful to you, Fenimore, for all you have done for me, but it is only now I am aware of the magnitude of your sacrifices for myself, for Sophie, and for this household. I do not like to think of what might have befallen us had you not stepped into Stella's place last fall.
But even before her departure, you took care of me and ensured both my safety and my happiness. I am certain there have been many times you would have preferred not to help me with my baking or make certain I was dressed for the weather or spent time determining whether my friends were safe, or any of the hundreds of other ways you have cared for me, but every time, you did. Though you are young and should be concerned with determining the shape of your life alone, you have instead taken on the duty of setting aside yourself for the sake of others.
I worry sometimes, however, that you do not have enough time to live your own life. Please do not forget to ask someone to watch over Sophie so that you might have time to simply be who you are. Do it often. You deserve to make yourself happy, Fenimore.
One way in which you can find happiness is to set your past at rest. I strongly urge you to speak with someone at the clinic regarding the meaning behind your scars. It will be extremely painful, but pain is often necessary for healing. One can run from the past, but legs tire. The past does not. One day, it will find you, whether you flee or turned to face it on your own terms.
You are stronger than you realize, and I am proud to call you one of my dearest friends. Thank you for your friendship and for everything you have done for me. I will always love you.
Love,
Grune
Dear Norma,
I would like to begin by setting your mind at rest: I do not blame you for your reaction to my change. Though I was not aware at the time, I understand now that I can be perceived as being great. That one of my friends feared I was possessed was a clear indication to me of how significantly different I must have appeared to you. You should not fault yourself for your reaction in such a case.
When I am in possession of my memories, I find it far easier to see matters clearly, both positive and negative. While I have always believed you to be highly intelligent, it is only now that I understand the significance of your research. I have never before heard of an Orerines capable of understanding Relares; I cannot begin to guess the amount of effort you must have put into learning the language. You truly are an extraordinary person, Norma.
But it is precisely your ceaseless effort that concerns me. You push yourself unforgivingly hard and rarely allow others to see when you were weary—particularly when that weariness is of your heart. You are not alone here, my dearest friend; you do not have to take on every burden alone. There are many here who would ease your pain, beyond myself. Please do not feel you must conceal it. True friendship encompasses pain as well as joy.
Finally, though it is easier for me to express such matters when I am without my memories, I still wish to try:
Thank you for your friendship, Norma. For the happiness and the laughter, for the shared sadness and uncertainty for the future, thank you. I cannot remember a time when I was ever happier than those days I have spent with you. I want to remain together with you as long as I possibly can. I love you, Norma, and I always will. No matter where we may find ourselves, that will never change.
Once more, thank you, for everything.
Love,
Grune
Dear Sophie,
What had happened to me recently must have been very confusing. I am sorry if I upset you. When I was on Melfes, I needed to change myself and turn into someone else for a while, as a way of protecting everyone I love. But then I forgot I had changed at all, and so I could not tell anyone what I had done.
Though I may seem very different to you, I want to be sure you know that not everything about me has changed. I still love you and all my friends very, very much. I simply have different ways of showing it now, the same way Norma and Fenimore and Walter all show they love you in different ways. They all love you, but as you know, every person is different.
I want you to know that I am so proud of you, Sophie. You are a very brave girl. Very few your age could live and be happy the way you do. Waking up every morning and seeing you is one of the things in life that makes me happiest of all.
No matter how I may act, Sophie, I will always love you. I hope you will never forget this, because no matter what, I never will.
Love,
Grune
Dear Sophie,
In March of Luceti Cycle Year 5, I wrote this letter and gave it to Fenimore for safekeeping. If you are reading this, she or someone else has judged that you are now old enough to understand its contents.
It is difficult for me to say what the past years have been like. I do not know if I have regained my memory again once, many times, not at all, or permanently. Perhaps I left long ago or recently; I may have returned once or often, or I may have remained here constantly. The future is always difficult to predict, but in Luceti, as you must be aware now, it is particularly so.
But there are still certainties, and one of them is this: watching you grow up this past year and a half has been one of the greatest joys I have ever known. And here is another: I love you. No matter where either of us may be now, no matter what has happened since you were the bright three-year-old girl I knew, that has not changed.
As you may know by now, I am a traveller. I rarely stay in one place for more than a year. I have no children and no birth family. Living in House 34 with you, then, and watching you grow a little more every day has brought me such happiness that I doubt I will ever be able to express it. I hope you will not mind me saying that I love you as a daughter, and each day that I spend in your company only deepens my happiness.
I hope I will be granted the opportunity to watch you grow. I wish with all my strength to be able to send you to school, to help you with your eres, to watch you make friends and fall in love. I want to laugh with you and cry with you and be with you, supporting you, all your life long. If, by the time you are reading this letter, you are able to say that we have done all these things, then know that I am the happiest woman in all the worlds.
I hope life has been not only kind to you, but full of every blessing imaginable. And if I am still present with you now, I hope you will come see me upon finishing reading this letter. Allow me to give you the embrace I am incapable of through pen and paper alone.
No matter what has happened in the years since I wrote this letter, I will love you beyond the end of time. I pray you have known and will always know the greatest of happiness.
Love,
Grune
Dear Jay,
I must both thank you and apologize. If you have seen me defeat Schwartz, you have known my fate on Melfes for the entirety of our captivity in Luceti, and yet to my knowledge, you have revealed it to no one. While I understand you are well practised in discretion due to your occupation on the Legacy, when it comes to personal matters, it is not always so easy to keep silent. Thank you.
I am sorry that this is necessary; it places you in a difficult situation. You can see, however, what the knowledge of my change in demeanour alone has done to my friends. To learn the entire truth before it is time would only cause unnecessary suffering. And so, I must ask you to continue to guard this secret for me, until the time comes when the truth can no longer be avoided.
If you need a trusted confident, though, you have my permission—and my encouragement—to share what you know. Burdens are not meant to be carried alone.
I wonder sometimes if you forget this, Jay. Though I must look through the perspective of my unawakened self, I fear you are too alone and isolated. I hope my concerns are without foundation, but it troubles me that I do not even know where you live.
You do not need to be alone. Though our situation is difficult, there are still those in Luceti who love and support you—such as myself. No matter where I might travel, that will never change.
I wish you the greatest of happiness, for you deserve to know it to the depths of your soul. May you find it and keep it always, and though I may not always be able to be with you, know that I am making this wish for you without ceasing.
Love,
Grune
Dear Link,
I hope you can forgive me for beginning with an apology. I am truly sorry for upsetting you upon my return from the Malnosso facilities. It was not at all my wish; I would have done everything in my power to prevent it, were I capable. I had not understood at the time how different I must have seemed to you, though as I look back, it is now obvious to me I must have appeared a stranger to you. Again, I offer my sincerest apologies.
I can assure you, however, that what I said at the time remains the truth. My memories of the time we have spent together and the way I feel about you have not changed. Should you wish it, I would be honoured to remain your older sister, even when I am in full possession of my memories. I have no birth family of my own, and so I treasure such connections deeply.
Looking back on our friendship, I realize I know little about your life prior to being taken to Luceti. I have only a few hints, enough to know that my unawakened self's assumption that you are an ordinary young man is incorrect. It seems as if, though you are young, you have already carried a great burden. If that is the case, despite our imprisonment in this place, I can only be glad you were taken here so that you might have the opportunity for a simpler life.
Though I do not know what your situation will be when the time comes for you to return to your original world, I can only pray that it brings you the same sense of happiness and peace that life in Luceti so clearly has.
May your days be filled with joy and love, no matter where you might find yourself, and always remember that my love and friendship will forever be a part of that wish.
Love,
Grune
Dear Cecil,
Thank you for all the assistance you provided me with during my time with my memories. Your support in numerous ways was a greater help than you might expect.
I apologize for frightening you so badly upon my return. It had not occurred to me that the changes to my demeanour might be attributed to possession and I regret that I brought such painful memories to mind. I can only hope the one responsible for causing such suffering has been brought to justice.
While your magical support was of course invaluable, particularly your ability to teleport me directly to and from the barrier, I hope you are aware that your companionship was also a blessing. It was a relief to have someone I could simply talk to and unburden myself with. In all honesty, neither come easily, and so your listening and understanding were all the more precious to me.
Thank you as well for trusting me and speaking of your life with me. I can only hope I was as much of a comfort to you as you were to me.
Lastly, thank you for trapping yourself in that tree. Though it was a physically uncomfortable affair for the both of us, it gave me the best laugh I have had in a very long time, and I can only hope you did not find yourself in too great of pain the following morning.
I hope someday that I will be permitted to regain my memories once again. If so, I look forward to resuming this part of our friendship. You are a man with a kind heart, Cecil, and I hope you never forget it.
Take care, and for both our sakes, please remember not to teleport after you have been drinking; I am much less skilled at climbing trees without my memories.
Love,
Grune
Dear Walter,
I fear we have fallen short in our attempts to understand one another. My mind cannot rest easily until I have made this last attempt. I hope that, despite our unfortunate parting, you will be able to read this letter with patience and an open heart.
I will confess I began our meeting with certain expectations. When I left Melfes, it was the night before I and my friends were to make one final attempt to prevent the Cataclysm. While I do not know the course events took, I can make certain guesses, including those concerning your role in this matter. This hypothesis, coupled with your behaviour before me and Norma, led me to assume that you still greatly resent the Orerines of Melfes, and I reacted accordingly.
I cannot offer an apology for my role in your death; words on paper cannot undo the fact that I was one of those to take your life. I regret that matters had come to such a point and that it appears there was no other course for us to take. But as we are both aware, apologies are meaningless.
I appreciate that you are making an effort to maintain peace in House 34. I also appreciate that I can be a frustrating individual to live with while my memories are sealed. However, I request that you make a stronger effort to treat me and the others in the house with courtesy. I do not ask for your friendship, though I might wish it in my unawakened state, but only somewhat more politeness and civility. Again, I emphasize that I am aware that the fault lies on all sides. However, speaking solely for myself, you have occasionally caused great pain in your words to me when I had intended to offer only kindness.
Thank you for having read my concerns. I hope that we will be able to act with greater understanding towards one another, and that one day, though you believe it impossible, you will be able to find happiness.
Sincerely,
Grune
Dear Giles,
I write this letter in the hope that someday you will return to Luceti in a position to read it. While I know many come to this place once more with no memory of having ever been, I can only pray you will not be among the number.
By now, you are no doubt wondering at the change in my manner of expression. In March of Cycle Year 5, the Malnosso kidnapped me in order to remove the seal on my memories. I had not intended to conceal this state of affairs from you. I had been unable to express to anyone that the seal had been in place because it had been so powerful, I had forgotten it was there at all.
Its reason for being was simple enough: the world of Melfes is an immature one, able to support only one person of great strength at a time. When a woman named Schwartz descended to it, it would have hastened its destruction had I not suppressed most of my powers and memories. But it is not a permanent seal; when the time is right, the seal will be undone and I shall attempt to drive Schwartz from the world.
And drive her away I must: Though she seeks to end the suffering of all of Melfes' people, she believes to live is to experience pain, and so she seeks to prevent the world from having ever existed. Though her motives are true, I cannot allow her to remove the world I love so from all of time.
I must assure you that though I may seem superficially different, I remain fundamentally the same. I still value your friendship dearly, particularly now that I am capable of far greater understanding. I understand now the limitless, gentle patience you have shown in the face of my simplicity and forgetfulness. I can appreciate your attempts to shelter me from the cruelties of your world and what it has done to you (though you may be surprised by what I can bear even in that state). And though I have always been warmed by your kindness in going on picnics or walks or flying kites together with me, only now can I see what a great gift of time you have given me.
I regret that I did not have the opportunity to speak with you when I was capable of more sophisticated thought. Even if I have always believed you to be an intelligent man, it is only now that I have been able to see the degree to which this is so. I believe we could have made much progress researching the nature of Luceti together, and I believe I would have been a somewhat more enjoyable conversationalist. While you have never given me any cause to believe you find the limitations of my unawakened state to be frustrating, I know myself well. There are days when I fall short of being able to communicate even with Sophie; I do not need to spend time underscoring the difference between you and her.
I know by now that you must be finding some way to diminish my praise of you. You have always been uncomfortable when I or any of your other friends have expressed appreciation for you. You are one who finds it far easier to accept condemnation than praise. Therefore, I offer you the challenge of believing what I write. I am no more likely to lie now than before I regained my memories, and certainly not to one I love. Do not think me a liar and dismiss my words, Giles, for that will cause me disappointment no matter my state.
I hope Luceti is treating you well. I hope you are being kind yourself. I hope I am a part of your life. Selfishly, I hope I am a large part of it. And if I am no longer in Luceti, then I hope you will remember that I will always love you, forever, past the end of life and into that place where death has no meaning. There exists nothing in this universe or any other that can bring an end to my love.
Thank you for being my friend.
Love,
Grune
Dhaos (business): Thank you to Kaze for helping me rework the section on Grell. ♥
Dhaos (personal): Between paragraphs 3 and 4, had their relationship taken a turn for the romantic, Grune would have inserted the following text:
When the Malnosso removed the seal from my memories, I gained understanding of many things. Most are unimportant for the purposes of this letter.
But I understand now why my heart leaps in joy when I see you; why it thrills me to hear you speak my name; why to only look at you is enough to steal my breath. I understand what it is my my hands long for in your presence: your skin and the softness of your hair. My lips are not satisfied unless they are pressed to yours.
I love you, Dhaos. My fingers fear to write these words for their great risk, but my heart would have me write them and write them to time’s end. I love you, and no seal is strong enough to contain that feeling. With my memories or without, I love you to the depths of my soul.
Fenimore: The letter references an incident Yosie and I have yet to play out--where Grune innocently walks in on Fenimore and sees her scars. This will eventually happen in an appointments post, so stay tuned?
Giles: I wrote Dhaos' personal letter and Giles' letter the better part of a month apart, and so I didn't realise until today I had ended them in the same way. I decided to keep the lines, though, because the words are strongly significant for both of them. Grune would have noted the irony and thought a great deal about it, but would in the end have allowed things to stand.
Tags:
- character: cecil harvey,
- character: dhaos,
- character: drusilla,
- character: fenimore xelhes,
- character: ginia solana,
- character: grell sutcliffe,
- character: grune,
- character: james moriarty,
- character: jay the unseen,
- character: link,
- character: norma beatty,
- character: rupert giles,
- character: schwartz,
- character: sophie coolidge,
- character: walter delques,
- genre: angst,
- genre: gen,
- genre: romance,
- media: black butler,
- media: buffy the vampire slayer,
- media: final fantasy iv: the after years,
- media: luceti,
- media: original,
- media: sherlock,
- media: tales of legendia,
- media: tales of phantasia,
- media: the legend of zelda,
- rating: pg
no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 02:39 am (UTC)♥ I mean every word. Seriously, it is so nice to get this letter. It's just...wow. Good wow :) . I can tell you worked hard on it. Of course. And I would actually love a history of Sophie! Would give me a good idea of what to expect, if nothing else.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-07 02:24 pm (UTC)(////) Thanks.
And here are the Sophie-relevant pieces of the history of House 34 that Yosie recently wrote up:
So yup, there we go! There's also a tiny bit in Fenimore's bio. The poor kid has had a pretty rough time of things, but she's been doing pretty well coping. Sophie is a tiny badass. ♥
no subject
Date: 2012-05-08 12:52 pm (UTC)...wow. I mean, I knew that Stella had to have been around a while if only because Sophie was three years old. I wonder if that was what got the rules for kids in the game written up? Since, well, Sophie remains the one and only. Man, talk about "it takes a village to raise a child". And, yeah, I remember reading that doesn't Sophie have the ability to throw things very hard? That's part of why I signed Giles up as an occasional caretaker. He can take a hit, at the least.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-09 03:33 pm (UTC)There was also Yuri and Judith's kid, Jonah, but when they both dropped, he was taken away by the Malnosso. I'm not sure when that happened, but I think he was born around the same time. So yeah, she's at least partially the reason for the rules! (And she won't be the one and only for much longer--Milly's just about due at this point.)
And yes, Sophie has her iron eres--essentially physical magic that's used by Senel, Chloe, Moses, and Jay. She doesn't have anything in the way of control of them yet, so that was smart thinking on your part. XD;