DS9 - The Spinning Wheel [1/5]
Feb. 22nd, 2014 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seikilosTitle: Like I Have Nothing To Hide
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Action
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 (slight dubcon, hairpulling)
Betas: tinsnip and Yosie
Words: This part 2745, appr. 15k overall
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: When Miles returns from a wartime engineering course, Keiko is glad to have him safe at home again--but soon she realises that all is not well. Now she must gather evidence while protecting her family and without letting on that she knows something is wrong.
Author's Notes: This fic comes from two places. First, I had been a fan of Keiko in TNG, and I had been glad when I started watching DS9 to find that she had made the switch between series with me. However, while she did get some very good writing in some episodes, a lot of the time I got the sense that the writers didn't quite know what to do with her. It frustrated me that not only did she occasionally get stuck in the "nagging wife" role in an attempt at humour, but she actually got written out of the show entirely for over a season so that Miles and Julian could have manly bonding time.
So, I wanted to write something that would let Keiko be the badass I know she is in a realistic way for her skill set. And I hope that here I've achieved it.
The second place, I'll talk about more in later chapters. I'd hate to spoil all of you for my own fic, after all!
Though I didn't realise it until I was writing the second-last scene, there's a song that fits this fic extremely well, and is responsible for its title: "The Spinning Wheel" by Michiru, from the album "World's End Village." You can listen to it here and, if you like it, you can buy the track here. There are no lyrics available on the internet--believe me, I've looked. Instead, the quotes have been transcribed by myself, Yosie, and my friend Angie, who introduced me to the song in the first place. Thank you very much!
And thank you to tinsnip and Yosie for kindly taking the time to beta this for me, and for providing lots of encouragement. You two are the best. <3
And now, onto the fic!
"Is he coming?" Molly asked for the third time since beginning the walk to Secondary Docking Port Seven.
Keiko rocked Yoshi in her arms, experimentally slowing her movements. Yoshi had shown himself to be perfectly content with waiting, which was good, but unfortunately her arms were getting tired. "Of course, sweetie. Daddy's shuttle will be here any minute."
Her arms being full, she could only step a little closer to Molly to give her some physical contact. Molly grabbed onto her leg, clinging in a way she hadn't for two or three years now.
Keiko couldn't blame her for her anxiety. Ever since Cardassia had joined the Dominion, the atmosphere on DS9 had been tense. People had begun to leave again, at a rate she hadn't seen since the Dominion had first made itself known. She and Miles had explained to her as much as they thought she was capable of coping with and had tried to shield her from the rest, but she was such a bright little girl. She could tell things weren't right.
She was beginning to wonder if it might not be better to leave the station for a while, until matters with the Dominion had either settled down or had come to a head and a more permanent decision could be made. Taking Molly away from her father and her home would be so hard, but with the station emptying and most of her friends gone—the Petersons had just told her yesterday that they were moving back to Relva VII—there really weren't any good options. She'd have to discuss it with Miles once he'd rested from his trip. That certainly wasn't the sort of decision one person could make.
"Shuttle Twenty-Three is now docking at Secondary Docking Port Seven," the computer announced.
Molly scrunched Keiko's dress in her hands. "That's Daddy's number, right?"
"That's right, sweetheart." Her sudden lightness made it easy to smile. "Let's see who can find him first."
Her heart lifted all the more when Molly giggled. Thank goodness. "Not Yoshi!"
Now she laughed as well, looking down first at her sleeping son, then at her daughter. "No, I don't think Yoshi is going to win, either. Now, let's see. . . ."
She lifted her chin to look as people of all heights and shapes disembarked from the shuttle. When she saw the man she'd been searching for—solidly-built and curly-haired—she waited just a moment or two, to give Molly time to win. Watching him tread along behind a pair of tired Bajoran women, she felt herself relax, and only then did she realise that Molly hadn't been the only one fretting.
Suddenly, by her side came a loud, "There he is!"
Keiko looked down, but already Molly was rushing off to her father, pushing through the crowd without a thought to manners. Keiko followed behind her, offering apologies as she went. Fortunately, no one seemed bothered by the shoving; amused tolerance was expressed almost universally in as many different ways as there were species present.
Keiko certainly wasn't about to stop and catalogue what she saw, though, when Miles was right before her. The instant she made it to him, he shifted Molly to one arm and slid his other arm around her waist. She had just enough time to sigh in contentment as her body fit against his before he gave her a deliciously hard kiss. In contrast, the kiss he pressed to Yoshi's forehead was as soft as a summery breeze. Her heart melted at the sight.
"Welcome home, Miles," she said and kissed him one more time, for the simple pleasure of being able to.
"It's good to be home. I thought that conference was never going to end."
"Daddy, I painted lots of pictures while you were gone," Molly broke in. "And my tooth is going to come out!"
She tilted her head up, opened her mouth wide, and started wiggling the tooth in question. Miles peered at the back of Molly's hand—it was all that either of them could see.
"Is that right? Look at that!" he exclaimed as expected; Molly removed her finger and closed her mouth to smile with pride at him.
"Molly's been trying not to wiggle it too much so you could be there when she lost it. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" she prompted.
Molly nodded. "I only wiggled it five times."
"That's my girl." Miles hugged her against his side once more.
And Keiko smiled. Even if war with the Dominion was imminent and a certainty, she still had moments like these to tuck away in her heart. They made keeping fear at bay not easy, but . . . easier. If she had this, she could be brave, and she knew Miles felt the same way.
*
It was good to eat supper together as a family, too—or almost as a family. Nerys was eating with Commander Dax this evening, something she said she had been planning for some time. Keiko suspected the scheduling had been deliberate, which left her feeling both grateful and a little guilty. It wasn't that she didn't consider Nerys a part of their family now, but she also couldn't deny that tonight, she wanted Miles all to herself.
It was difficult to be patient as Molly poked her way through getting ready for bed. There was no rush, she knew—after supper with the Commander, Nerys was going directly on duty—but, well . . . she was feeling greedy. After their separation, she wanted as much time alone with Miles as possible.
At last, Molly was tucked in bed and even Yoshi seemed ready to sleep for at least a few hours. The moment the door to Molly's bedroom hissed shut, Keiko turned to her husband with a smile on her lips.
"Now that the children are in bed" —she let her walk toward him turn into a sashay— "I should see about welcoming you home properly. . . ."
She rose on her toes to kiss him long and slow, the sort of kisses that were a certain prelude to a very good night indeed—but then she stopped. There were no strong arms pulling her close, and Miles' kisses in response felt . . . dutiful.
"Miles?"
Usually when either of them returned from one of their conferences, it was a race to see who would strike first. This, however, was a strike on her side only.
He tried to smile. "Sorry, sweetheart. The conference really took a lot out of me. I've been feeling out of it all day."
Oh . . . damn. Even if it was a disappointment, it made sense. Especially since— "You barely ate anything at supper tonight. Maybe you should have an early night."
"Suppose I should." He kissed her gently, taking away most of her disappointment with just one touch of his lips. "Good night, love."
"Good night. I'll join you in a bit," she promised. She just needed to tire herself out first.
It was a shame they couldn't celebrate his return tonight, but it was fine. Miles needed his rest, and there was always tomorrow. She'd already waited the better part of a week. She could wait a little longer.
*
Miles might have needed his rest, but he wasn't about to get it. It would have been nice for him to have a slow day after his return home . . . so of course everyone fell over themselves to give him work—especially work with tight deadlines.
"Keo to O'Brien," came a distracted-sounding woman's voice over Miles' combadge halfway through breakfast.
"Go ahead." Miles shared an annoyed look with her.
"Sir, do you think you could come in a little early this morning? The station computers are being laggy and nobody can figure out why. We've already had fifty separate complaints, and frankly, sir, we think that's just a warmup."
Oh, poor Miles. She'd noticed the replicator was being a little unresponsive this morning, but she hadn't wanted to say anything to spare him. It seemed that her kindness had been in vain.
"I'll be down as soon as I can. O'Brien out."
Normally whenever something like this happened, Miles would shovel down his food in three great gulps and be on the move seconds later. Today he simply abandoned his breakfast. Keiko glanced at him as he went for his kit, but . . . he didn't look worn out from yesterday's trip any longer. He must have decided to be stoic and hide his exhaustion—for once.
Not one second later, a new, much deeper voice sounded. "Worf to O'Brien."
Miles made a disgusted noise, then tapped his combadge. "Go ahead."
"The Defiant's most recent diagnostic turned up a number of errors. They require your immediate attention."
"Are you sure they can't wait? The station computers—"
"They cannot. I will meet you in the Defiant in ten minutes. Worf out."
Miles raised his eyes to the ceiling and once again hit his combadge. "O'Brien to Keo."
"Keo here."
"I'm going to be late. There've been some problems with the Defiant. You'll have to cope as best you can until I get them sorted."
"Yessir." The stress in the woman's voice was plain. "Keo out."
Keiko got to her feet at the same time he did and followed him as he went to retrieve his kit.
"Poor Miles." She smiled, because he wasn't even close to doing the same, and to cheer him up, sang, "There's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles, dear Miles, there's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles, a hole."
It was a joke from early in their marriage. The song was a very old one, about a man trying to fix a bucket and the endless tasks he had to finish before he could. Even when Miles had only been transporter chief on the Enterprise—a relatively undemanding job—it had struck both of them as being very appropriate. No matter his mood, Miles always made at least a halfhearted attempt to sing back.
But today, he only managed a small chuckle, then flipped open his kit to check it.
She gave him a funny look as she prompted, "There's a hole in my bucket. . . ."
He glanced up. "Oh! There's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles—"
"Dear Keiko," she corrected. What was going on?
He laughed awkwardly. "Right. Sorry. Guess I'm still out of it from yesterday."
"I guess so," she said, trying and failing to keep the disbelief from her voice. Miles could sometimes have his head in the circuitry, it was true, but this was stretching it even for him.
"Anyway." He snapped the lid shut. "Better get going. You know how the Commander gets."
She smiled, shaking off the moment for now. "If half of what you've told me is true, I'd stop talking and make a run for it."
"Good idea." Miles strode over to kiss her quickly. "Bye, sweetheart. Have a good day."
"You too," she called as the door closed behind him.
There. Now to finish breakfast, get Molly settled with one of her learning padds, and catch up on her correspondence. Dr. Petra had sent her a question about her research yesterday that she'd completely ignored in favor of Miles' return. She'd lost her excuse for laziness, however, so it was time to be responsible once again.
*
By the time Miles returned that evening, Keiko had forgotten his odd behaviour earlier that morning. His appetite was still light at supper, but she wasn't going to worry about that yet. People went through phases where they weren't as hungry. This was probably just one of those things.
Nerys joined them for supper that evening and the whole family had a lovely, quiet night in. When Nerys admitted to being exhausted from her shift earlier in the day, though, while Keiko was of course sympathetic . . . she was also inwardly celebrating. At last she could finally go about giving Miles his welcome home.
While he was putting the children to bed, she stole into their bedroom and slid into her red Tholian silk nightgown. It was a little thin to wear overnight, so she only brought it out when she was certain she'd be kept warm. She had a good feeling that she wasn't going to have to worry too much about freezing tonight.
The low chuckle Miles gave confirmed it when he stepped into the bedroom to find her stretched out on their bed and reading something that decidedly wasn't Exobotany Quarterly. Languidly, she let the padd slide from her fingertips onto their bedside table, then rose to meet him. This time, his kisses weren't dutiful by any means, and the slow glide of his hands to her hips was not perfunctory.
Despite their recent separation, they didn't rush. She wanted to savour his body, and it was clear from his unhurried movements that he wanted to do the same with her. When they made it to the bed, Miles now wearing only a pair of loose trousers and a sliver of silk all that separated them from skin-to-skin touch, she felt positively delicious.
She sprawled on top of him, letting their legs tangle as they kissed, leisurely but not lazily. Miles broke off to press little kisses along her neck, and now she was the one to chuckle even as she arched her neck. Oh, no, she wasn't about to let him take control—not tonight.
She caught his lips again to get his attention, then broke away to kiss his chin. Then his Adam's apple. Then the dip between his collarbones. She gave one collarbone a nip and pushed herself lower, feeling silk bunch between them as their bodies slid against one another. A kiss to his chest, and again she—
Hard hands seized her shoulders, catching her hair and pulling. She gasped as pain—unwelcome pain, careless pain—burnt out pleasure.
"Miles, what are you doing?"
"Not tonight, Keiko, darling. I'm not in the mood."
Keiko tried to raise her head without sparking any more pain from her scalp. She couldn't. He was holding her too tight, Miles was holding her too tight, and something was wrong.
"You certainly seemed in the mood thirty seconds ago." Her voice was sharper than she meant for it to be. But she was shaking inside, because of Miles, because of her husband. It made no sense.
"I changed my mind."
And then he let her go and she could lift her head the rest of the way and roll off him. He even sounded remorseful when he went on to say, "Sorry, love. I'm just feeling a bit off, that's all. I'm sure it's nothing."
"Maybe you should go see Julian in the morning," she said over the beating of her heart.
He snorted, and the sound was so normal, so him, that she shivered all over again. "I'm not talking to Julian about our love life. I'll be fine. Just give me a little time to get myself sorted out." He leaned over to kiss her and she let him.
"All right."
He'd been about to lie back on his side of the bed, but then he stopped and moved closer again until his face was a breath from hers. He was so earnest, the picture of the man she knew, she loved, she'd married, and it still wasn't right.
"It's me, darling, I swear," he told her as her eyes raced across and across his face, trying to find the part of him that had suddenly become capable of hurting her. It hadn't always been there, she refused to believe it, so when had it appeared? "It has nothing to do with you. You're just as lovely as ever, just as wonderful as ever, and I still love you every bit as much as the day I married you. There's nothing to worry about, all right?"
That wasn't the part she was afraid of.
She made herself smile, forced herself across those few centimetres of space to kiss him. Her voice was steady, somehow, as she said, "Thank you, Miles. I love you, too."
He smiled back, looking relieved. "See you in the morning."
"See you in the morning."
He rolled over to his side of the bed and appeared to go to sleep soon after.
She didn't. She lay on her back, eyes open to the darkness.
She knew what was wrong now.
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Action
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 (slight dubcon, hairpulling)
Betas: tinsnip and Yosie
Words: This part 2745, appr. 15k overall
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: When Miles returns from a wartime engineering course, Keiko is glad to have him safe at home again--but soon she realises that all is not well. Now she must gather evidence while protecting her family and without letting on that she knows something is wrong.
Author's Notes: This fic comes from two places. First, I had been a fan of Keiko in TNG, and I had been glad when I started watching DS9 to find that she had made the switch between series with me. However, while she did get some very good writing in some episodes, a lot of the time I got the sense that the writers didn't quite know what to do with her. It frustrated me that not only did she occasionally get stuck in the "nagging wife" role in an attempt at humour, but she actually got written out of the show entirely for over a season so that Miles and Julian could have manly bonding time.
So, I wanted to write something that would let Keiko be the badass I know she is in a realistic way for her skill set. And I hope that here I've achieved it.
The second place, I'll talk about more in later chapters. I'd hate to spoil all of you for my own fic, after all!
Though I didn't realise it until I was writing the second-last scene, there's a song that fits this fic extremely well, and is responsible for its title: "The Spinning Wheel" by Michiru, from the album "World's End Village." You can listen to it here and, if you like it, you can buy the track here. There are no lyrics available on the internet--believe me, I've looked. Instead, the quotes have been transcribed by myself, Yosie, and my friend Angie, who introduced me to the song in the first place. Thank you very much!
And thank you to tinsnip and Yosie for kindly taking the time to beta this for me, and for providing lots of encouragement. You two are the best. <3
And now, onto the fic!
Love, there is a place in my heart
It pulls me away far from you
Love, I hear it whisper at night
Saying things that you never do
"Is he coming?" Molly asked for the third time since beginning the walk to Secondary Docking Port Seven.
Keiko rocked Yoshi in her arms, experimentally slowing her movements. Yoshi had shown himself to be perfectly content with waiting, which was good, but unfortunately her arms were getting tired. "Of course, sweetie. Daddy's shuttle will be here any minute."
Her arms being full, she could only step a little closer to Molly to give her some physical contact. Molly grabbed onto her leg, clinging in a way she hadn't for two or three years now.
Keiko couldn't blame her for her anxiety. Ever since Cardassia had joined the Dominion, the atmosphere on DS9 had been tense. People had begun to leave again, at a rate she hadn't seen since the Dominion had first made itself known. She and Miles had explained to her as much as they thought she was capable of coping with and had tried to shield her from the rest, but she was such a bright little girl. She could tell things weren't right.
She was beginning to wonder if it might not be better to leave the station for a while, until matters with the Dominion had either settled down or had come to a head and a more permanent decision could be made. Taking Molly away from her father and her home would be so hard, but with the station emptying and most of her friends gone—the Petersons had just told her yesterday that they were moving back to Relva VII—there really weren't any good options. She'd have to discuss it with Miles once he'd rested from his trip. That certainly wasn't the sort of decision one person could make.
"Shuttle Twenty-Three is now docking at Secondary Docking Port Seven," the computer announced.
Molly scrunched Keiko's dress in her hands. "That's Daddy's number, right?"
"That's right, sweetheart." Her sudden lightness made it easy to smile. "Let's see who can find him first."
Her heart lifted all the more when Molly giggled. Thank goodness. "Not Yoshi!"
Now she laughed as well, looking down first at her sleeping son, then at her daughter. "No, I don't think Yoshi is going to win, either. Now, let's see. . . ."
She lifted her chin to look as people of all heights and shapes disembarked from the shuttle. When she saw the man she'd been searching for—solidly-built and curly-haired—she waited just a moment or two, to give Molly time to win. Watching him tread along behind a pair of tired Bajoran women, she felt herself relax, and only then did she realise that Molly hadn't been the only one fretting.
Suddenly, by her side came a loud, "There he is!"
Keiko looked down, but already Molly was rushing off to her father, pushing through the crowd without a thought to manners. Keiko followed behind her, offering apologies as she went. Fortunately, no one seemed bothered by the shoving; amused tolerance was expressed almost universally in as many different ways as there were species present.
Keiko certainly wasn't about to stop and catalogue what she saw, though, when Miles was right before her. The instant she made it to him, he shifted Molly to one arm and slid his other arm around her waist. She had just enough time to sigh in contentment as her body fit against his before he gave her a deliciously hard kiss. In contrast, the kiss he pressed to Yoshi's forehead was as soft as a summery breeze. Her heart melted at the sight.
"Welcome home, Miles," she said and kissed him one more time, for the simple pleasure of being able to.
"It's good to be home. I thought that conference was never going to end."
"Daddy, I painted lots of pictures while you were gone," Molly broke in. "And my tooth is going to come out!"
She tilted her head up, opened her mouth wide, and started wiggling the tooth in question. Miles peered at the back of Molly's hand—it was all that either of them could see.
"Is that right? Look at that!" he exclaimed as expected; Molly removed her finger and closed her mouth to smile with pride at him.
"Molly's been trying not to wiggle it too much so you could be there when she lost it. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" she prompted.
Molly nodded. "I only wiggled it five times."
"That's my girl." Miles hugged her against his side once more.
And Keiko smiled. Even if war with the Dominion was imminent and a certainty, she still had moments like these to tuck away in her heart. They made keeping fear at bay not easy, but . . . easier. If she had this, she could be brave, and she knew Miles felt the same way.
It was good to eat supper together as a family, too—or almost as a family. Nerys was eating with Commander Dax this evening, something she said she had been planning for some time. Keiko suspected the scheduling had been deliberate, which left her feeling both grateful and a little guilty. It wasn't that she didn't consider Nerys a part of their family now, but she also couldn't deny that tonight, she wanted Miles all to herself.
It was difficult to be patient as Molly poked her way through getting ready for bed. There was no rush, she knew—after supper with the Commander, Nerys was going directly on duty—but, well . . . she was feeling greedy. After their separation, she wanted as much time alone with Miles as possible.
At last, Molly was tucked in bed and even Yoshi seemed ready to sleep for at least a few hours. The moment the door to Molly's bedroom hissed shut, Keiko turned to her husband with a smile on her lips.
"Now that the children are in bed" —she let her walk toward him turn into a sashay— "I should see about welcoming you home properly. . . ."
She rose on her toes to kiss him long and slow, the sort of kisses that were a certain prelude to a very good night indeed—but then she stopped. There were no strong arms pulling her close, and Miles' kisses in response felt . . . dutiful.
"Miles?"
Usually when either of them returned from one of their conferences, it was a race to see who would strike first. This, however, was a strike on her side only.
He tried to smile. "Sorry, sweetheart. The conference really took a lot out of me. I've been feeling out of it all day."
Oh . . . damn. Even if it was a disappointment, it made sense. Especially since— "You barely ate anything at supper tonight. Maybe you should have an early night."
"Suppose I should." He kissed her gently, taking away most of her disappointment with just one touch of his lips. "Good night, love."
"Good night. I'll join you in a bit," she promised. She just needed to tire herself out first.
It was a shame they couldn't celebrate his return tonight, but it was fine. Miles needed his rest, and there was always tomorrow. She'd already waited the better part of a week. She could wait a little longer.
Miles might have needed his rest, but he wasn't about to get it. It would have been nice for him to have a slow day after his return home . . . so of course everyone fell over themselves to give him work—especially work with tight deadlines.
"Keo to O'Brien," came a distracted-sounding woman's voice over Miles' combadge halfway through breakfast.
"Go ahead." Miles shared an annoyed look with her.
"Sir, do you think you could come in a little early this morning? The station computers are being laggy and nobody can figure out why. We've already had fifty separate complaints, and frankly, sir, we think that's just a warmup."
Oh, poor Miles. She'd noticed the replicator was being a little unresponsive this morning, but she hadn't wanted to say anything to spare him. It seemed that her kindness had been in vain.
"I'll be down as soon as I can. O'Brien out."
Normally whenever something like this happened, Miles would shovel down his food in three great gulps and be on the move seconds later. Today he simply abandoned his breakfast. Keiko glanced at him as he went for his kit, but . . . he didn't look worn out from yesterday's trip any longer. He must have decided to be stoic and hide his exhaustion—for once.
Not one second later, a new, much deeper voice sounded. "Worf to O'Brien."
Miles made a disgusted noise, then tapped his combadge. "Go ahead."
"The Defiant's most recent diagnostic turned up a number of errors. They require your immediate attention."
"Are you sure they can't wait? The station computers—"
"They cannot. I will meet you in the Defiant in ten minutes. Worf out."
Miles raised his eyes to the ceiling and once again hit his combadge. "O'Brien to Keo."
"Keo here."
"I'm going to be late. There've been some problems with the Defiant. You'll have to cope as best you can until I get them sorted."
"Yessir." The stress in the woman's voice was plain. "Keo out."
Keiko got to her feet at the same time he did and followed him as he went to retrieve his kit.
"Poor Miles." She smiled, because he wasn't even close to doing the same, and to cheer him up, sang, "There's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles, dear Miles, there's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles, a hole."
It was a joke from early in their marriage. The song was a very old one, about a man trying to fix a bucket and the endless tasks he had to finish before he could. Even when Miles had only been transporter chief on the Enterprise—a relatively undemanding job—it had struck both of them as being very appropriate. No matter his mood, Miles always made at least a halfhearted attempt to sing back.
But today, he only managed a small chuckle, then flipped open his kit to check it.
She gave him a funny look as she prompted, "There's a hole in my bucket. . . ."
He glanced up. "Oh! There's a hole in my bucket, dear Miles—"
"Dear Keiko," she corrected. What was going on?
He laughed awkwardly. "Right. Sorry. Guess I'm still out of it from yesterday."
"I guess so," she said, trying and failing to keep the disbelief from her voice. Miles could sometimes have his head in the circuitry, it was true, but this was stretching it even for him.
"Anyway." He snapped the lid shut. "Better get going. You know how the Commander gets."
She smiled, shaking off the moment for now. "If half of what you've told me is true, I'd stop talking and make a run for it."
"Good idea." Miles strode over to kiss her quickly. "Bye, sweetheart. Have a good day."
"You too," she called as the door closed behind him.
There. Now to finish breakfast, get Molly settled with one of her learning padds, and catch up on her correspondence. Dr. Petra had sent her a question about her research yesterday that she'd completely ignored in favor of Miles' return. She'd lost her excuse for laziness, however, so it was time to be responsible once again.
By the time Miles returned that evening, Keiko had forgotten his odd behaviour earlier that morning. His appetite was still light at supper, but she wasn't going to worry about that yet. People went through phases where they weren't as hungry. This was probably just one of those things.
Nerys joined them for supper that evening and the whole family had a lovely, quiet night in. When Nerys admitted to being exhausted from her shift earlier in the day, though, while Keiko was of course sympathetic . . . she was also inwardly celebrating. At last she could finally go about giving Miles his welcome home.
While he was putting the children to bed, she stole into their bedroom and slid into her red Tholian silk nightgown. It was a little thin to wear overnight, so she only brought it out when she was certain she'd be kept warm. She had a good feeling that she wasn't going to have to worry too much about freezing tonight.
The low chuckle Miles gave confirmed it when he stepped into the bedroom to find her stretched out on their bed and reading something that decidedly wasn't Exobotany Quarterly. Languidly, she let the padd slide from her fingertips onto their bedside table, then rose to meet him. This time, his kisses weren't dutiful by any means, and the slow glide of his hands to her hips was not perfunctory.
Despite their recent separation, they didn't rush. She wanted to savour his body, and it was clear from his unhurried movements that he wanted to do the same with her. When they made it to the bed, Miles now wearing only a pair of loose trousers and a sliver of silk all that separated them from skin-to-skin touch, she felt positively delicious.
She sprawled on top of him, letting their legs tangle as they kissed, leisurely but not lazily. Miles broke off to press little kisses along her neck, and now she was the one to chuckle even as she arched her neck. Oh, no, she wasn't about to let him take control—not tonight.
She caught his lips again to get his attention, then broke away to kiss his chin. Then his Adam's apple. Then the dip between his collarbones. She gave one collarbone a nip and pushed herself lower, feeling silk bunch between them as their bodies slid against one another. A kiss to his chest, and again she—
Hard hands seized her shoulders, catching her hair and pulling. She gasped as pain—unwelcome pain, careless pain—burnt out pleasure.
"Miles, what are you doing?"
"Not tonight, Keiko, darling. I'm not in the mood."
Keiko tried to raise her head without sparking any more pain from her scalp. She couldn't. He was holding her too tight, Miles was holding her too tight, and something was wrong.
"You certainly seemed in the mood thirty seconds ago." Her voice was sharper than she meant for it to be. But she was shaking inside, because of Miles, because of her husband. It made no sense.
"I changed my mind."
And then he let her go and she could lift her head the rest of the way and roll off him. He even sounded remorseful when he went on to say, "Sorry, love. I'm just feeling a bit off, that's all. I'm sure it's nothing."
"Maybe you should go see Julian in the morning," she said over the beating of her heart.
He snorted, and the sound was so normal, so him, that she shivered all over again. "I'm not talking to Julian about our love life. I'll be fine. Just give me a little time to get myself sorted out." He leaned over to kiss her and she let him.
"All right."
He'd been about to lie back on his side of the bed, but then he stopped and moved closer again until his face was a breath from hers. He was so earnest, the picture of the man she knew, she loved, she'd married, and it still wasn't right.
"It's me, darling, I swear," he told her as her eyes raced across and across his face, trying to find the part of him that had suddenly become capable of hurting her. It hadn't always been there, she refused to believe it, so when had it appeared? "It has nothing to do with you. You're just as lovely as ever, just as wonderful as ever, and I still love you every bit as much as the day I married you. There's nothing to worry about, all right?"
That wasn't the part she was afraid of.
She made herself smile, forced herself across those few centimetres of space to kiss him. Her voice was steady, somehow, as she said, "Thank you, Miles. I love you, too."
He smiled back, looking relieved. "See you in the morning."
"See you in the morning."
He rolled over to his side of the bed and appeared to go to sleep soon after.
She didn't. She lay on her back, eyes open to the darkness.
She knew what was wrong now.
