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DS9 - Happy Femslash February!
Title: All Right
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, AU
Rating & Warnings: PG (language, reference to canonical character death)
Words: 899
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: The first Lovers' Day since Jadzia's death, Kira has to make a decision.
Author's Notes: Happy Femslash February! I had been expecting to celebrate the month with my current favourite femslash couple, Kira/Jadzia, but then this popped into my head and demanded to be written. I didn't think I shipped Kira/Ezri, but after writing this I sure do!
Slightly AU, set in a 'verse where reassociation is not a taboo among the Trill. (Although lbr, given Ezri was also a Starfleet science officer on exactly the same station and with exactly the same friends as her previous host, I don't think the writers were too concerned about that by Season 7.)
"Sorry. It's going to take some time to get used to—this."
A familiar expression had appeared on the wrong face, Jadzia's rare smile for when she didn't feel like smiling written small.
"It's all right—it is, it's all right," Ezri had repeated. "You don't have to rush. A-And some relationships don't survive a change in symbiont, and that's all right, too."
If she had heard one more "all right," she'd known she would do something she'd regret. "I'm needed in ops. Excuse me."
Even if Ezri must have realised it was a lie—she had to have, if she'd once been Jadzia—she hadn't stopped her. And so Kira had gone to the holosuites and had beaten the shit out of as many computer-generated images as she could until she had been too exhausted to grieve.
*
Kira stared at the box of Delavian chocolates in front of her, head resting on her arms. Everyone had been very careful not to talk about Lovers' Day in front of her—they'd been very careful about everything lately—but she'd have to be living on an asteroid not to know it was coming.
Every year since their first Lovers' Day together, Kira had given Jadzia Delavian chocolates as part of her gifts. She'd first learned of Jadzia's passion for them before they'd become a couple. She'd been getting a raktajino in the replimat when Julian had shared a chocolate with Jadzia. Kira had nearly covered her uniform in hot coffee at Jadzia's resulting groan, and that right there had decided a lot of things.
But giving chocolates to Ezri now . . . she didn't know if she was ready to make that kind of declaration. She didn't know if she would ever be ready to make that kind of declaration.
She didn't even know if Ezri liked chocolate. Ezri kept on ordering raktajinos and looking as though she wanted to throw up when she took a drink. It was the death of one more thing she and Jadzia had shared, repeated in ops every morning for a week and a half, and then whenever Ezri was distracted (often) since.
. . . She'd been talking to Lenara a lot lately, when she was in the mood for sympathy. Mostly, they spoke about work, other friends. The only advice Lenara had shared was to not force anything, to take it slow—or to move forward, but in a different direction. To say goodbye.
Kira's eyes narrowed.
She snatched up the chocolates without grace, pushed off from the table, and left her quarters.
Ezri looked shocked when her doors opened to Kira on her doorstep. "Nery—Kira! I-I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you today!"
"Nerys." She refused to hesitate. "Can I come in?"
"O-Of course! Come in, Nerys—oh, I didn't need to say that, did I?"
Kira smiled faintly as she moved forward into the quarters she hadn't seen since the day of Jadzia's death. Jadzia had never stammered or gotten flustered—it was yet another way Ezri was nothing like her. But . . . it wasn't so irritating now that Kira knew her better. She might even be able to call it cute.
When she heard the doors slide shut, she turned. Ezri had come just one step inside, and that wasn't going to get them anywhere.
She retraced her steps to close the distance between them. Ezri leaned back on her heels but stood her ground. That was good. Kira didn't want to do this in the corridor.
Ezri opened her mouth and took in a breath. The mental image of being swept away on a river of nervous babble flashed into Kira's mind.
She spoke first. "Here."
She held out the chocolates in their tiny box. She didn't wish Ezri a happy Lovers' Day. She only offered a memory of their shared-but-not past.
Ezri's eyes popped wide. "K—Nerys, really? You don't have to—I-I wasn't expecting anything, so you really shouldn't. . . ."
The words trickled to a stop in the face of Kira's too-patient face. They were learning, both of them.
"I almost didn't bring them," Kira said once there was space in the air. "I have no idea if you like Delavian chocolates anymore. But then" —for just a heartbeat, Kira's gaze dropped to her hands— "I thought it was worth finding out."
The look on Ezri's face was painful. If Kira had once had her doubts about how this Dax felt about her, they were gone, completely.
Ezri laughed; there was a hiccup to the sound. "Well, let's give it a try."
She drew the box from Kira's hands, her fingertips brushing as little as possible. She fumbled with the lid, unwrapped a chocolate, and stuck it in her mouth.
Kira wouldn't have spilled her coffee at the groan that eased from Ezri's throat, but her face heated all the same.
Ezri's eyes blinked open. "Yep, I still love chocolate. Thank goodness some things stay the same."
Kira—smiled. "Some differences are all right, once you get used to them." Then: "I'm needed in ops. I'll . . . stop by later."
Ezri's own smile lit her from top to toe. "Have a good shift."
"Thanks."
Kira left for her quarters. Ezri wasn't fooled this time, either, she knew. She didn't mind.
Once she was back, she lit Jadzia's candle on her altar, then knelt down to give thanks. Finally, it wasn't an obligation.
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, AU
Rating & Warnings: PG (language, reference to canonical character death)
Words: 899
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Summary: The first Lovers' Day since Jadzia's death, Kira has to make a decision.
Author's Notes: Happy Femslash February! I had been expecting to celebrate the month with my current favourite femslash couple, Kira/Jadzia, but then this popped into my head and demanded to be written. I didn't think I shipped Kira/Ezri, but after writing this I sure do!
Slightly AU, set in a 'verse where reassociation is not a taboo among the Trill. (Although lbr, given Ezri was also a Starfleet science officer on exactly the same station and with exactly the same friends as her previous host, I don't think the writers were too concerned about that by Season 7.)
"Sorry. It's going to take some time to get used to—this."
A familiar expression had appeared on the wrong face, Jadzia's rare smile for when she didn't feel like smiling written small.
"It's all right—it is, it's all right," Ezri had repeated. "You don't have to rush. A-And some relationships don't survive a change in symbiont, and that's all right, too."
If she had heard one more "all right," she'd known she would do something she'd regret. "I'm needed in ops. Excuse me."
Even if Ezri must have realised it was a lie—she had to have, if she'd once been Jadzia—she hadn't stopped her. And so Kira had gone to the holosuites and had beaten the shit out of as many computer-generated images as she could until she had been too exhausted to grieve.
Kira stared at the box of Delavian chocolates in front of her, head resting on her arms. Everyone had been very careful not to talk about Lovers' Day in front of her—they'd been very careful about everything lately—but she'd have to be living on an asteroid not to know it was coming.
Every year since their first Lovers' Day together, Kira had given Jadzia Delavian chocolates as part of her gifts. She'd first learned of Jadzia's passion for them before they'd become a couple. She'd been getting a raktajino in the replimat when Julian had shared a chocolate with Jadzia. Kira had nearly covered her uniform in hot coffee at Jadzia's resulting groan, and that right there had decided a lot of things.
But giving chocolates to Ezri now . . . she didn't know if she was ready to make that kind of declaration. She didn't know if she would ever be ready to make that kind of declaration.
She didn't even know if Ezri liked chocolate. Ezri kept on ordering raktajinos and looking as though she wanted to throw up when she took a drink. It was the death of one more thing she and Jadzia had shared, repeated in ops every morning for a week and a half, and then whenever Ezri was distracted (often) since.
. . . She'd been talking to Lenara a lot lately, when she was in the mood for sympathy. Mostly, they spoke about work, other friends. The only advice Lenara had shared was to not force anything, to take it slow—or to move forward, but in a different direction. To say goodbye.
Kira's eyes narrowed.
She snatched up the chocolates without grace, pushed off from the table, and left her quarters.
Ezri looked shocked when her doors opened to Kira on her doorstep. "Nery—Kira! I-I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you today!"
"Nerys." She refused to hesitate. "Can I come in?"
"O-Of course! Come in, Nerys—oh, I didn't need to say that, did I?"
Kira smiled faintly as she moved forward into the quarters she hadn't seen since the day of Jadzia's death. Jadzia had never stammered or gotten flustered—it was yet another way Ezri was nothing like her. But . . . it wasn't so irritating now that Kira knew her better. She might even be able to call it cute.
When she heard the doors slide shut, she turned. Ezri had come just one step inside, and that wasn't going to get them anywhere.
She retraced her steps to close the distance between them. Ezri leaned back on her heels but stood her ground. That was good. Kira didn't want to do this in the corridor.
Ezri opened her mouth and took in a breath. The mental image of being swept away on a river of nervous babble flashed into Kira's mind.
She spoke first. "Here."
She held out the chocolates in their tiny box. She didn't wish Ezri a happy Lovers' Day. She only offered a memory of their shared-but-not past.
Ezri's eyes popped wide. "K—Nerys, really? You don't have to—I-I wasn't expecting anything, so you really shouldn't. . . ."
The words trickled to a stop in the face of Kira's too-patient face. They were learning, both of them.
"I almost didn't bring them," Kira said once there was space in the air. "I have no idea if you like Delavian chocolates anymore. But then" —for just a heartbeat, Kira's gaze dropped to her hands— "I thought it was worth finding out."
The look on Ezri's face was painful. If Kira had once had her doubts about how this Dax felt about her, they were gone, completely.
Ezri laughed; there was a hiccup to the sound. "Well, let's give it a try."
She drew the box from Kira's hands, her fingertips brushing as little as possible. She fumbled with the lid, unwrapped a chocolate, and stuck it in her mouth.
Kira wouldn't have spilled her coffee at the groan that eased from Ezri's throat, but her face heated all the same.
Ezri's eyes blinked open. "Yep, I still love chocolate. Thank goodness some things stay the same."
Kira—smiled. "Some differences are all right, once you get used to them." Then: "I'm needed in ops. I'll . . . stop by later."
Ezri's own smile lit her from top to toe. "Have a good shift."
"Thanks."
Kira left for her quarters. Ezri wasn't fooled this time, either, she knew. She didn't mind.
Once she was back, she lit Jadzia's candle on her altar, then knelt down to give thanks. Finally, it wasn't an obligation.