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Tales of Graces - Childhoodverse AU/AKA Time-Strengthened Ties returns yet again!
Title: To See His Smile
Fandom: Tales of Graces f
Genre: Fluff
Rating & Warnings: G
Words: 3060
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Graces f.
Summary: When Richard confesses a long-held secret on Lhant Hill, Asbel is left trying to understand just what it means to him.
Author's Notes: This is yet another fic in my Time-Strengthened Ties AU, wherein Richard spends the better part of the year in Lhant as a child. I haven't really concerned myself with the chronology of these fics, so I suppose it's more in the same 'verse rather than being a direct sequel to the other ones I've posted. So yeah.
When the big, important, life-changing sort of stuff happened, you were supposed to get one of two kinds of weather: brilliant sunny skies (all the better for setting out on an adventure) or rain. Maybe even a huge storm if you were lucky. There wasn't supposed to be any of this "mostly cloudy with a kind of haze that burns off early in the afternoon" business.
Oddly enough, though, that was exactly what he ended up with.
*
"Asbel," Richard said suddenly. "Let's go to Lhant Hill."
Asbel blinked. They had already decided they were going to be playing Battleship (or that's what he'd told Richard they were going to be doing, anyway), so why the change in plans?
Well, it wasn't like he minded or anything. Lhant Hill was a pretty great place, after all.
"Sure," he agreed. "I'll just go figure out where Hubert and Sophie went and we can head out." Not Cheria, though—going all that way was too hard on her.
"N-No, I mean. . . ."
Asbel had already started off to find them; hearing Richard speak, he came back to stand in front of his friend. Since when did Richard stutter?
"Let's go together, just . . . just the two of us," Richard went on without looking at him.
"Uh, okay." What had gotten into him all of a sudden?
". . . Thanks." Richard turned back from his really careful study of the Lhant family portrait and smiled . . . sort of.
"No problem." Asbel gave his shoulder a friendly punch. Ever since Richard had stopped jumping a mile when he did it (boy had his expressions been great), it was a pretty good way to get a proper smile out of him—and even, the last time, a returning punch. "It'll be fun."
Richard didn't punch back this time, though. In fact, the not-really-a-smile he'd been wearing disappeared entirely. ". . . Yeah."
Seriously, what was up with him today? Oh well. He'd find out eventually. After all, Richard knew he could tell him anything.
*
The walk to Lhant Hill was kind of a weird one. Richard wasn't exactly a chatterbox on a normal day, sure, but today he was making Hubert look outgoing and that was just wrong.
Finally, after the conversation had died on them twice in a row (when it usually happened zero times in a row), he asked, "Hey Richard, what's up?"
Richard jumped and turned slightly widened eyes to him. "Huh?"
"You got something serious on your mind or something?"
"Oh, um. . . ." Richard blushed. "Yes, actually. I do."
"Well, what is it?"
Richard took in a deep breath. "I'll tell you when we get to Lhant Hill, all right?"
Asbel studied the path ahead. Suddenly it seemed a lot longer. ". . . Can you give me a hint?"
Finally, a real smile appeared on Richard's face, though briefly. "I'm afraid not. You'll just have to wait."
"Man." Asbel turned his attention back to the path. He paused. ". . . Last one to the hill has to clean both our rooms!"
He took off with a grin as Richard called out, "Asbel, wait!"
He sounded amused, though, which was exactly what Asbel had been going for. He hated when Richard seemed bothered by something—it made him want to do anything to get it to stop.
He won the race up the hill, of course. Richard might be getting used to climbing it, but he wasn't about to beat Asbel on his home ground.
While he waited for Richard to catch up, he started poking around to see if there were any sopherias blooming. Maybe he could bring one back for Sophie.
The search absorbed his attention so much, he didn't notice Richard had reached the top of the hill until he called out, "Asbel, over here!"
He looked up to find Richard standing beneath the big tree and waving. He yelled back, "Coming!" and closed the distance at a run. Finally he could find out what the big secret was!
"So what's up?" he asked once he was standing across from Richard in the shifting shade of the tree.
Richard glanced at him, then turned back to what he had been looking at: their names carved into the tree trunk. He didn't answer right away, or even for a while.
Asbel was on the verge of telling him to spit it out already when finally, Richard said, "Asbel, you know you were my first friend, don't you?"
"Well, uh, yeah." He scratched at the back of his head, a little uncomfortable. It was great that they were friends now—really great—but he didn't like thinking about how lonely Richard must have been before coming to Lhant. It . . . made his heart hurt. "But you have lots of friends now, so it's fine, right?"
He really wanted that reminder to work. He wanted it to cheer Richard up so he could see him smiling again. A real smile, not that funny quiet one he was wearing now.
"I do, and I've . . . I've never been happier in my whole life." Finally, Richard turned to face him. "But you were the first. No one ever cared about me before I met you. . . . That makes your friendship very special to me."
"Come on, Richard, what about your parents?" Asbel protested. "I can't really have been the first."
Because if he was, he just . . . he didn't want to think about that.
Richard smiled a little, but it was still wrong. "I don't remember my mother. And my father is too busy to spend time with me."
"But I'm sure he still cares about you anyway, right?"
"Not enough to find time for me."
Asbel didn't know what to say to something so—bleak. Sure, his own father was a huge pain in the ass, but at least he was around.
Richard shook his head, rubbed his forehead a little. "It's fine, Asbel. It doesn't matter anymore. Because—now I have someone in my life that I know cares about me."
"You have a lot of someones: me and Sophie and Hubert and Cheria and all the others," Asbel reminded him.
"Yes, and I'm very grateful for them." He met Asbel's eyes. "But I'm talking about you. Because, Asbel, I. . . ." His gaze dipped, then came back. ". . . I love you."
Asbel broke into a smile. "Aww, thanks, Richard." Sure it was mushy, but hey. He could go with it. "I love you, too. You're a terrific friend."
For some reason, even though he'd been the one to bring up the mushy stuff, Richard looked kind of flustered. "N-No, I don't mean it like that—well, I do, but. . . ."
". . . Yeah?" What the . . . ?
Richard took in a deep breath. "I mean I'm in love with you."
Asbel blinked. Then he blinked again. "You . . . are?"
"Yes." His head bowed a little. His cheeks were pink.
"Like . . . boyfriends in love?"
". . . Yes."
"Oh." He hesitated. "That's, uh . . . good?"
Richard looked up. That small smile was back on his lips and he looked—tired. As if all his energy had just gone and disappeared. "It's all right, Asbel. It's fine if you don't feel the same way. I just wanted you to know. . . . Don't worry about it."
He turned his back on the tree—their tree—and started walking down the hill.
"Richard. . . ."
He'd messed up. He'd really, really messed up. Even if Richard had said it was all right, he should have at least said something. Something better than "That's good." And now he'd hurt his best friend in the whole world.
He had to fix this.
He ran. "Richard, wait up!"
Richard stopped at his shout, but he didn't turn. He didn't seem to want to look at him anymore.
"I'm sorry, Richard. I'm a big loser." Now standing in front of him, Asbel leaned forward and tried to see his face. "We're still friends, right?"
"Of course. Th-that's . . . we'll always be friends."
Hearing the words of their friendship pact always cheered Asbel up, or just about. But it didn't today.
Not when it sounded as if Richard were trying not to cry.
*
It was the longest, most miserable walk Asbel could remember. Neither of them knew what to say, and so they both stayed silent the whole way back. Once inside the manor, they brushed past Hubert—who was trying to ask what was wrong and did they have a fight—and shut themselves in their rooms, Richard downstairs and Asbel upstairs.
Asbel spent a minute forcing a chair under the doorknob before going over to fall listlessly on his bed. Hubert was great at sorting things out, but he didn't want to explain what had happened right now. And he definitely didn't want to talk to his parents.
He really had messed up this time. He'd almost made Richard cry. All he wanted was for him to be happy, and instead. . . .
The worst part was—he didn't even know how he felt about Richard being in love with him. If he'd just been able to say that he just liked him as a friend, probably Richard would be able to feel better a lot sooner. It would be awful for him for a while, but he'd get over it. Right now, though . . . he had no idea.
What did it feel like to be in love?
It wasn't something he'd thought about before. It hadn't interested him, for one, and for another, it had never come up. Sure, sometimes Violet and Raph and the others would say that stupid kissing rhyme at him and Cheria, but that was just them being weird. It didn't mean anything.
Suddenly, the verse in question popped into his head . . . with one change:
Asbel and Richard, sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!
"Argh!" Asbel grabbed at his hair. That couldn't be what Richard meant when he said he was in love with him, could it?
He rolled onto his stomach and let his arms dangle over the side of the bed. He had to figure this out, fast. He owed it to Richard to give him a proper answer, one way or another.
*
He stayed flopped on his bed for a good long time. At one point, Hubert knocked on the door and asked to be let in, but after Asbel told him to go away, he left him alone.
Normally if there was something he didn't understand, he'd ask Hubert . . . except he had the feeling that this was something Hubert knew even less about than Asbel did. Love wasn't something you could just read about in a book, after all.
Asbel sat up. Wait a minute. Mom had those books in her room that he wasn't supposed to know about. He'd never bothered with them once he'd figured out where she kept them—they were just books—but maybe they were worth a shot. It was better than sitting in his room being frustrated all day.
Sneaking into his mom's room was easy, especially since both his parents seemed to be out right then. Not even the servants noticed him; they were way too busy. All the better for him.
Once he was inside, he shut the door—but not all the way. He needed to hear if anyone was coming. Then he dropped to his knees by his mom's side of the bed and started pulling out books.
Swept By His Embrace: boring. Dark Seduction: huh? The Pirate Captain's Mistress: hey, there were pirates in these things? Maybe they weren't as boring as he'd thought.
He shoved all the books except The Pirate Captain's Mistress under the bed again and headed back to his room.
This time, he didn't put the chair under the door, in case Hubert complained when their dad came back and he got in trouble. Instead, he stuck the borrowed book inside the pages of one of his textbooks (once he'd dug it out from the bottom of the pile of stuff on his desk) and settled down to read.
By the time he was called for supper, he'd nearly finished the book. While he'd learned that his mom's books were a lot more interesting than he'd thought (as long as he skipped the smoochy bits), unfortunately, The Pirate Captain's Mistress hadn't taught him anything he could use to figure out his feelings for Richard.
Unless they ran away together and became pirates. That would definitely be awesome—but it probably wasn't going to happen. Still, imagining himself and Richard having adventures together on the high seas was a good way to pass time during supper. It got a pretty good reaction, too, when his mom asked him what he was thinking about. His explanation made Richard smile, too. It wasn't the greatest of smiles, sure, but anything was better than how he'd looked on Lhant Hill.
. . . He had trouble meeting Richard's eyes after that thought.
*
It took forever for Hubert to fall asleep that night. Every time Asbel thought he'd finally dropped off, he'd look over and Hubert would be scratching his nose or yawning or something. Waiting for anything wasn't exactly fun to begin with, but waiting for someone to fall asleep had to be the most boring thing in the universe.
He was doing this for Richard, though, he kept reminding himself. Knowing that didn't make lying around doing nothing a lot easier, but it helped.
Finally, once Asbel was really sure Hubert was asleep this time, he slipped out of bed, crept out of the room, and tiptoed downstairs.
All evening long, he'd still been thinking about what had happened between him and Richard on Lhant Hill earlier that day. And he'd realized something: that there was only one way to get his answer.
He crossed the main hall and knocked softly on his friend's bedroom door. "Richard?"
Barely two seconds later, Richard had opened the door, wearing his pajamas and looking surprised. "Asbel? What is it?"
". . . Can I come in?" He glanced over his shoulder. He'd been as quiet as possible, so probably nobody had noticed he wasn't in bed. Some nights, though, he could swear his dad was part rabbit, his ears were so good.
"Of course." Richard stood aside and let him in.
Once he was inside, Asbel . . . really didn't know what to do with himself. How were you supposed to just start a conversation like this, anyway?
"What's it like to be in love?" he blurted.
. . . Oh. Uh, like that.
"What's it. . . ?"
Richard was back to looking surprised, only about twice as much as before. Asbel didn't blame him—this wasn't exactly how their after-bedtime visits tended to go.
"Um." He was quiet for a bit; Asbel failed to not fidget. "Well, it's. . . . You're, um, you're happy. Being with them, or . . . or even just thinking about them. And you want to make them happy—you'd do anything to see them smile." He was blushing now, about as red as Asbel felt. "You want to spend all your time with them and always be with them."
"But isn't that the same as being really, really good friends with someone?" he asked. "I-I mean, I'm happy spending lots of time with Sophie and Hubert and Cheria. I want us all to be friends forever."
"I . . . I do, too. I want to always be friends with them, too. But. . . ." He clutched at the too-long sleeves of his pajamas. "When you're in love with someone, you . . . you want to share your life with them. And make it not just your life anymore, but something—bigger. Something, um, shared." Richard abruptly pressed both hands to his face and let his head drop. "I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense."
Immediately, Asbel shook his head. "It's all right—don't say you're sorry."
He really hated to see Richard looking upset like that. He always did. It didn't matter if what was upsetting him was something small, like having to come inside because it was raining, or something big, like . . . like this. No matter what it was that was bothering him, Asbel would do anything to make him feel better—to make him smile again. . . .
. . . Oh.
Oh.
Asbel stood perfectly still in the middle of Richard's room, staring at him. He'd sworn to be Richard's knight because he wanted to help him bring peace to Windor. But if anyone else had made the same declaration, would he have agreed so quickly? Would he be this determined to do whatever he could?
Would his heart jump about excitedly in his chest at just the thought of working side by side with anyone else?
". . . Asbel?" Richard whispered.
"I . . . I think I understand."
Asbel shook his head a little; he felt the same as that one time he'd fallen out of a tree. But now he could breathe again. There was no harm done. In fact. . . .
He beamed, all but ran up to Richard, and threw his arms around him. In fact—he felt the best he ever had!
"Uh?" Richard gasped out, sounding so uncharacteristically undignified that Asbel laughed.
"Yeah, that's right," he declared, his cheeks already hurting from the force of his grin. "I understand perfectly."
"You. . . ." Suddenly, Richard was hugging him back, hard. "I'm—I'm glad. I'm really, really glad!"
Asbel leaned the side of his head against Richard's, his heart now beating warm in his chest. "Same here. This is going to be great!"
He already knew he had a lot to learn about being a boyfriend, but he'd get it right. He'd be the best boyfriend ever, the same way he was going to be the best knight ever, for Richard.
Because he really would do anything to make him smile.
Fandom: Tales of Graces f
Genre: Fluff
Rating & Warnings: G
Words: 3060
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Graces f.
Summary: When Richard confesses a long-held secret on Lhant Hill, Asbel is left trying to understand just what it means to him.
Author's Notes: This is yet another fic in my Time-Strengthened Ties AU, wherein Richard spends the better part of the year in Lhant as a child. I haven't really concerned myself with the chronology of these fics, so I suppose it's more in the same 'verse rather than being a direct sequel to the other ones I've posted. So yeah.
When the big, important, life-changing sort of stuff happened, you were supposed to get one of two kinds of weather: brilliant sunny skies (all the better for setting out on an adventure) or rain. Maybe even a huge storm if you were lucky. There wasn't supposed to be any of this "mostly cloudy with a kind of haze that burns off early in the afternoon" business.
Oddly enough, though, that was exactly what he ended up with.
"Asbel," Richard said suddenly. "Let's go to Lhant Hill."
Asbel blinked. They had already decided they were going to be playing Battleship (or that's what he'd told Richard they were going to be doing, anyway), so why the change in plans?
Well, it wasn't like he minded or anything. Lhant Hill was a pretty great place, after all.
"Sure," he agreed. "I'll just go figure out where Hubert and Sophie went and we can head out." Not Cheria, though—going all that way was too hard on her.
"N-No, I mean. . . ."
Asbel had already started off to find them; hearing Richard speak, he came back to stand in front of his friend. Since when did Richard stutter?
"Let's go together, just . . . just the two of us," Richard went on without looking at him.
"Uh, okay." What had gotten into him all of a sudden?
". . . Thanks." Richard turned back from his really careful study of the Lhant family portrait and smiled . . . sort of.
"No problem." Asbel gave his shoulder a friendly punch. Ever since Richard had stopped jumping a mile when he did it (boy had his expressions been great), it was a pretty good way to get a proper smile out of him—and even, the last time, a returning punch. "It'll be fun."
Richard didn't punch back this time, though. In fact, the not-really-a-smile he'd been wearing disappeared entirely. ". . . Yeah."
Seriously, what was up with him today? Oh well. He'd find out eventually. After all, Richard knew he could tell him anything.
The walk to Lhant Hill was kind of a weird one. Richard wasn't exactly a chatterbox on a normal day, sure, but today he was making Hubert look outgoing and that was just wrong.
Finally, after the conversation had died on them twice in a row (when it usually happened zero times in a row), he asked, "Hey Richard, what's up?"
Richard jumped and turned slightly widened eyes to him. "Huh?"
"You got something serious on your mind or something?"
"Oh, um. . . ." Richard blushed. "Yes, actually. I do."
"Well, what is it?"
Richard took in a deep breath. "I'll tell you when we get to Lhant Hill, all right?"
Asbel studied the path ahead. Suddenly it seemed a lot longer. ". . . Can you give me a hint?"
Finally, a real smile appeared on Richard's face, though briefly. "I'm afraid not. You'll just have to wait."
"Man." Asbel turned his attention back to the path. He paused. ". . . Last one to the hill has to clean both our rooms!"
He took off with a grin as Richard called out, "Asbel, wait!"
He sounded amused, though, which was exactly what Asbel had been going for. He hated when Richard seemed bothered by something—it made him want to do anything to get it to stop.
He won the race up the hill, of course. Richard might be getting used to climbing it, but he wasn't about to beat Asbel on his home ground.
While he waited for Richard to catch up, he started poking around to see if there were any sopherias blooming. Maybe he could bring one back for Sophie.
The search absorbed his attention so much, he didn't notice Richard had reached the top of the hill until he called out, "Asbel, over here!"
He looked up to find Richard standing beneath the big tree and waving. He yelled back, "Coming!" and closed the distance at a run. Finally he could find out what the big secret was!
"So what's up?" he asked once he was standing across from Richard in the shifting shade of the tree.
Richard glanced at him, then turned back to what he had been looking at: their names carved into the tree trunk. He didn't answer right away, or even for a while.
Asbel was on the verge of telling him to spit it out already when finally, Richard said, "Asbel, you know you were my first friend, don't you?"
"Well, uh, yeah." He scratched at the back of his head, a little uncomfortable. It was great that they were friends now—really great—but he didn't like thinking about how lonely Richard must have been before coming to Lhant. It . . . made his heart hurt. "But you have lots of friends now, so it's fine, right?"
He really wanted that reminder to work. He wanted it to cheer Richard up so he could see him smiling again. A real smile, not that funny quiet one he was wearing now.
"I do, and I've . . . I've never been happier in my whole life." Finally, Richard turned to face him. "But you were the first. No one ever cared about me before I met you. . . . That makes your friendship very special to me."
"Come on, Richard, what about your parents?" Asbel protested. "I can't really have been the first."
Because if he was, he just . . . he didn't want to think about that.
Richard smiled a little, but it was still wrong. "I don't remember my mother. And my father is too busy to spend time with me."
"But I'm sure he still cares about you anyway, right?"
"Not enough to find time for me."
Asbel didn't know what to say to something so—bleak. Sure, his own father was a huge pain in the ass, but at least he was around.
Richard shook his head, rubbed his forehead a little. "It's fine, Asbel. It doesn't matter anymore. Because—now I have someone in my life that I know cares about me."
"You have a lot of someones: me and Sophie and Hubert and Cheria and all the others," Asbel reminded him.
"Yes, and I'm very grateful for them." He met Asbel's eyes. "But I'm talking about you. Because, Asbel, I. . . ." His gaze dipped, then came back. ". . . I love you."
Asbel broke into a smile. "Aww, thanks, Richard." Sure it was mushy, but hey. He could go with it. "I love you, too. You're a terrific friend."
For some reason, even though he'd been the one to bring up the mushy stuff, Richard looked kind of flustered. "N-No, I don't mean it like that—well, I do, but. . . ."
". . . Yeah?" What the . . . ?
Richard took in a deep breath. "I mean I'm in love with you."
Asbel blinked. Then he blinked again. "You . . . are?"
"Yes." His head bowed a little. His cheeks were pink.
"Like . . . boyfriends in love?"
". . . Yes."
"Oh." He hesitated. "That's, uh . . . good?"
Richard looked up. That small smile was back on his lips and he looked—tired. As if all his energy had just gone and disappeared. "It's all right, Asbel. It's fine if you don't feel the same way. I just wanted you to know. . . . Don't worry about it."
He turned his back on the tree—their tree—and started walking down the hill.
"Richard. . . ."
He'd messed up. He'd really, really messed up. Even if Richard had said it was all right, he should have at least said something. Something better than "That's good." And now he'd hurt his best friend in the whole world.
He had to fix this.
He ran. "Richard, wait up!"
Richard stopped at his shout, but he didn't turn. He didn't seem to want to look at him anymore.
"I'm sorry, Richard. I'm a big loser." Now standing in front of him, Asbel leaned forward and tried to see his face. "We're still friends, right?"
"Of course. Th-that's . . . we'll always be friends."
Hearing the words of their friendship pact always cheered Asbel up, or just about. But it didn't today.
Not when it sounded as if Richard were trying not to cry.
It was the longest, most miserable walk Asbel could remember. Neither of them knew what to say, and so they both stayed silent the whole way back. Once inside the manor, they brushed past Hubert—who was trying to ask what was wrong and did they have a fight—and shut themselves in their rooms, Richard downstairs and Asbel upstairs.
Asbel spent a minute forcing a chair under the doorknob before going over to fall listlessly on his bed. Hubert was great at sorting things out, but he didn't want to explain what had happened right now. And he definitely didn't want to talk to his parents.
He really had messed up this time. He'd almost made Richard cry. All he wanted was for him to be happy, and instead. . . .
The worst part was—he didn't even know how he felt about Richard being in love with him. If he'd just been able to say that he just liked him as a friend, probably Richard would be able to feel better a lot sooner. It would be awful for him for a while, but he'd get over it. Right now, though . . . he had no idea.
What did it feel like to be in love?
It wasn't something he'd thought about before. It hadn't interested him, for one, and for another, it had never come up. Sure, sometimes Violet and Raph and the others would say that stupid kissing rhyme at him and Cheria, but that was just them being weird. It didn't mean anything.
Suddenly, the verse in question popped into his head . . . with one change:
Asbel and Richard, sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!
"Argh!" Asbel grabbed at his hair. That couldn't be what Richard meant when he said he was in love with him, could it?
He rolled onto his stomach and let his arms dangle over the side of the bed. He had to figure this out, fast. He owed it to Richard to give him a proper answer, one way or another.
He stayed flopped on his bed for a good long time. At one point, Hubert knocked on the door and asked to be let in, but after Asbel told him to go away, he left him alone.
Normally if there was something he didn't understand, he'd ask Hubert . . . except he had the feeling that this was something Hubert knew even less about than Asbel did. Love wasn't something you could just read about in a book, after all.
Asbel sat up. Wait a minute. Mom had those books in her room that he wasn't supposed to know about. He'd never bothered with them once he'd figured out where she kept them—they were just books—but maybe they were worth a shot. It was better than sitting in his room being frustrated all day.
Sneaking into his mom's room was easy, especially since both his parents seemed to be out right then. Not even the servants noticed him; they were way too busy. All the better for him.
Once he was inside, he shut the door—but not all the way. He needed to hear if anyone was coming. Then he dropped to his knees by his mom's side of the bed and started pulling out books.
Swept By His Embrace: boring. Dark Seduction: huh? The Pirate Captain's Mistress: hey, there were pirates in these things? Maybe they weren't as boring as he'd thought.
He shoved all the books except The Pirate Captain's Mistress under the bed again and headed back to his room.
This time, he didn't put the chair under the door, in case Hubert complained when their dad came back and he got in trouble. Instead, he stuck the borrowed book inside the pages of one of his textbooks (once he'd dug it out from the bottom of the pile of stuff on his desk) and settled down to read.
By the time he was called for supper, he'd nearly finished the book. While he'd learned that his mom's books were a lot more interesting than he'd thought (as long as he skipped the smoochy bits), unfortunately, The Pirate Captain's Mistress hadn't taught him anything he could use to figure out his feelings for Richard.
Unless they ran away together and became pirates. That would definitely be awesome—but it probably wasn't going to happen. Still, imagining himself and Richard having adventures together on the high seas was a good way to pass time during supper. It got a pretty good reaction, too, when his mom asked him what he was thinking about. His explanation made Richard smile, too. It wasn't the greatest of smiles, sure, but anything was better than how he'd looked on Lhant Hill.
. . . He had trouble meeting Richard's eyes after that thought.
It took forever for Hubert to fall asleep that night. Every time Asbel thought he'd finally dropped off, he'd look over and Hubert would be scratching his nose or yawning or something. Waiting for anything wasn't exactly fun to begin with, but waiting for someone to fall asleep had to be the most boring thing in the universe.
He was doing this for Richard, though, he kept reminding himself. Knowing that didn't make lying around doing nothing a lot easier, but it helped.
Finally, once Asbel was really sure Hubert was asleep this time, he slipped out of bed, crept out of the room, and tiptoed downstairs.
All evening long, he'd still been thinking about what had happened between him and Richard on Lhant Hill earlier that day. And he'd realized something: that there was only one way to get his answer.
He crossed the main hall and knocked softly on his friend's bedroom door. "Richard?"
Barely two seconds later, Richard had opened the door, wearing his pajamas and looking surprised. "Asbel? What is it?"
". . . Can I come in?" He glanced over his shoulder. He'd been as quiet as possible, so probably nobody had noticed he wasn't in bed. Some nights, though, he could swear his dad was part rabbit, his ears were so good.
"Of course." Richard stood aside and let him in.
Once he was inside, Asbel . . . really didn't know what to do with himself. How were you supposed to just start a conversation like this, anyway?
"What's it like to be in love?" he blurted.
. . . Oh. Uh, like that.
"What's it. . . ?"
Richard was back to looking surprised, only about twice as much as before. Asbel didn't blame him—this wasn't exactly how their after-bedtime visits tended to go.
"Um." He was quiet for a bit; Asbel failed to not fidget. "Well, it's. . . . You're, um, you're happy. Being with them, or . . . or even just thinking about them. And you want to make them happy—you'd do anything to see them smile." He was blushing now, about as red as Asbel felt. "You want to spend all your time with them and always be with them."
"But isn't that the same as being really, really good friends with someone?" he asked. "I-I mean, I'm happy spending lots of time with Sophie and Hubert and Cheria. I want us all to be friends forever."
"I . . . I do, too. I want to always be friends with them, too. But. . . ." He clutched at the too-long sleeves of his pajamas. "When you're in love with someone, you . . . you want to share your life with them. And make it not just your life anymore, but something—bigger. Something, um, shared." Richard abruptly pressed both hands to his face and let his head drop. "I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense."
Immediately, Asbel shook his head. "It's all right—don't say you're sorry."
He really hated to see Richard looking upset like that. He always did. It didn't matter if what was upsetting him was something small, like having to come inside because it was raining, or something big, like . . . like this. No matter what it was that was bothering him, Asbel would do anything to make him feel better—to make him smile again. . . .
. . . Oh.
Oh.
Asbel stood perfectly still in the middle of Richard's room, staring at him. He'd sworn to be Richard's knight because he wanted to help him bring peace to Windor. But if anyone else had made the same declaration, would he have agreed so quickly? Would he be this determined to do whatever he could?
Would his heart jump about excitedly in his chest at just the thought of working side by side with anyone else?
". . . Asbel?" Richard whispered.
"I . . . I think I understand."
Asbel shook his head a little; he felt the same as that one time he'd fallen out of a tree. But now he could breathe again. There was no harm done. In fact. . . .
He beamed, all but ran up to Richard, and threw his arms around him. In fact—he felt the best he ever had!
"Uh?" Richard gasped out, sounding so uncharacteristically undignified that Asbel laughed.
"Yeah, that's right," he declared, his cheeks already hurting from the force of his grin. "I understand perfectly."
"You. . . ." Suddenly, Richard was hugging him back, hard. "I'm—I'm glad. I'm really, really glad!"
Asbel leaned the side of his head against Richard's, his heart now beating warm in his chest. "Same here. This is going to be great!"
He already knew he had a lot to learn about being a boyfriend, but he'd get it right. He'd be the best boyfriend ever, the same way he was going to be the best knight ever, for Richard.
Because he really would do anything to make him smile.
/uses completely inappropriate account to review
/answers with only somewhat appropriate account