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Title: Better-Looking Pilots Actually Sing "Love Is an Open Door" From Frozen
Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Humour
Rating & Warnings: G (Casual ableist language)
Words: 1167
Disclaimer: I don't own Cabin Pressure.
Summary: While waiting for a customer to turn up, Arthur shows Herc and Douglas a video on his phone. Herc and Douglas think they can do better.
Author's Notes: Basically, when I learned this existed, I knew what I had to do.

"All right, how's this: Ironic Places to Situate Your Business. I'll start—Saint Mary's Christian Bookstore in Hell, Michigan."

"Very nice. A lottery company in the Disappointment Islands."

"Hey chaps, look at this!"

Douglas mentally tucked away his next suggestion (a hang-gliding business in Dull, Scotland) and looked two portacabin seats to the left. "Look at what, dare I ask?"

"This, here!"

Arthur thrust out his phone. Herc took it from his hand and squinted. "'Good-Looking Pilots Sing "Love Is an Open Door" From Frozen'?"

"Yeah! Let's watch it!"

"No thank you—I'll pass," Douglas said as Arthur leaned in close to Herc. "I've only just got all those blasted songs out of my head. I don't need to start the process all over again."

"Oh, come on, Skip, it'll be fun to see other singing pilots like you and Herc," Arthur coaxed.

Douglas sighed. As the years went by, it should have been getting easier to resist Arthur's hopeful looks, not harder. And yet here he was, completely at Arthur's mercy. "Fine. But don't blame me when all our flights for the next week have a Disney soundtrack." He leaned in from the other side. "Let's have a look."

Herc pressed play. To Douglas' surprise, the pair in the video actually were pilots—either that or they were exceptionally skilled at getting past security and into the cockpit of an unoccupied aeroplane. But then—

"Ah," Herc said.

"Aren't they brilliant?" Arthur asked, beaming away (but thankfully not singing along).

"They're only lip-syncing. We could do better than that," Douglas said with a glance to Herc.

Herc met his eyes. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

It was ridiculous, but. . . . "Oh, why not? It isn't as if we have anything better to do right now."

"What? What are you thinking?" Arthur asked, looking from Herc to Douglas and back again.

"Arthur. . . . You wouldn't happen to still have the Frozen soundtrack on your phone, would you?" Herc asked.

"'Course I do! Why?"

"You'll see soon enough."


It was almost normal now, waiting for Theresa to join him in bed. The first few goes at this sort of arrangement, he'd had the sheets in knots by the time she'd brushed her hair and had her makeup off. Nowadays, though, he was very nearly calm when she came out of the loo. Sort of.

It had got easier when he'd started bringing his computer to bed with him. Not that he remembered what he'd been doing once Theresa had pulled the sheets back, most times, but at least it gave his mind something else to concentrate on besides the waiting.

At the moment, getting caught up on emails was the order of the day—or, well, night. Skipping over a couple of work-related ones, Martin quickly came to an email from Arthur that had come in late yesterday. He'd been too busy to get to it before; now seemed the perfect time.

As usual, the email was pages long and crammed with exclamation points. It was hard to feel as if he were missing anything at OJS with Arthur keeping him exhaustively up to date.

But there was something different this time: a link to a video that didn't appear to involve kittens or puppies or ducklings or anything of the sort.

Look at what me, Skip, and Herc did! Arthur had captioned it. And Mum too only don't tell her. It's brilliant!

Up went Martin's eyebrows. What on Earth were those three doing now?

He clicked the link. He had just enough time to take in that yes, that was Douglas and Herc sitting in Gerti, before Herc spoke.

"Okay, can I just . . . say something crazy?"

"I love crazy!" Douglas exclaimed as Martin's gaze fell on the video title—and view count.

He yelped. Instantly, Theresa was at the loo door.

"Martin, what is it?"

And now Herc and Douglas were singing, they were singing that song, and life hadn't been this surreal since he'd been working at MJN.

"It—gah!" He thrust a finger at his computer screen.

"'Cause like, I've been searching my whole life to find my own place," Douglas crooned.

Theresa crossed the bedroom with a quick stride, sat on the bed, and leaned in. Her eyebrows shot up (which made him notice that she'd only had time to remove the makeup from one eye).

"'Better-Looking Pilots Actually Sing "Love Is an Open Door" From Frozen'?" she read aloud as Douglas and Herc went into harmony. Of course they sounded amazing together.

"One hundred and four thousand hits!" Martin croaked.

"You have very popular friends," was somehow all Theresa had to say to that.

They watched silently for a bit, Martin still gaping, Theresa with palpable amusement. Just when Martin thought he might be wrapping his head around what he was seeing:


Theresa actually giggled when suddenly Arthur popped into the flight deck and started dancing as badly as only he knew how.

When the song came to an end, Martin expected the video to end as well (probably after a smart remark from Douglas). But no, there was still time left. He glanced at Theresa again, but Douglas' voice yanked his attention back.

"Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?"

"What?" Martin squawked as Theresa started giggling again.

"Can I say something crazier?"

Martin boggled. "No—"

"Yes!" Herc finished with all appearances of delight.

Douglas' hand drew near the screen.

"Hercules Shipwright!" an exceptionally familiar voice bellowed.

"Oh, no, Martin!" All but hooting with laughter now, Theresa collapsed on the bed next to him and nearly sent his laptop sliding.

"You're not to be committing bigamy on company time!" Carolyn commanded, still unseen.

"Sorry, darling," Herc called back and the picture abruptly went black.

A sea of recommended videos rippled over where his former coworkers' faces had been. Martin sat back.

"What the hell did we just watch?" he at last managed.

"A work of art," Theresa answered, wiping at her eyes. She was brought up short by the sight of makeup on her hand, then said, "Play it again! That was incredible!"

"It was certainly something," Martin said and restarted the video.

Once Herc had sheepishly apologised for a second time, Theresa leaned over to kiss Martin's cheek. "I'm going to finish getting ready for bed. I'll be in soon."

"Right," Martin said, but at that moment, his mind wasn't on the immediate future.

Instead, once Theresa had left the room, he pulled up his email and picked Douglas' name out of his address book. He had to find out how and above all why that had happened—and if Carolyn had found out yet. And, of course, he had to try his very best to tease Douglas mercilessly. He may have done many . . . unfortunate things during his time at MJN Air, but at least he had never pretended to be a Disney teenager.

Grinning, he started typing. He couldn't wait for the reply.


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